#193 Saturday

Still here.  Disappointed because after waiting all day for Ballykissangel on PBS, they had money-raising instead.   Bleck.

#192 Friday

I haven't the faintest idea what I did all day, but at least I did survive it. 

#191 Thursday (Ignore the "Friday" Header)

Got a bunch of stuff done today.  Took some antique jewelry to the jeweler for repair, filled out and took the papers in for a passport (replacement for the lost one, so I couldn't do it by mail).  Paid bills.  Selected some tours for Hawaii.  Made hotel reservations for Ricketts Glen.

That was kind of funny.  I had talked to a nice young woman earlier in the week, who said that they don't take reservations.  First-come, first-served only.  I said that I was driving too far to arrive and find no place to sleep, so she suggested I call at 2:30 today, when the owner would be there.  She, however, was absolutely unable to take reservations and had no authority to make exceptions.

So I called the owner at 2:30 pm.  I don't remember what I said, but he laughed a lot.  Must have caught him in a good mood.  He said there were lots of other places I could get a room, and I said yes, but they don't seem to have internet sites, and I don't have phone numbers, and I can't just call directory assistance because I wouldn't have any idea where these places are.  It's not like there are any towns around there.  A "Sweetvalley" address covers a good 200 square miles.  "But I know exactly where YOU are!" 

He laughed again, and agreed to save "the big room, ok?" for me for Friday and Saturday nights. 

After we got the CC info and all taken care of, he said that they are just a small inn with only five small rooms, and four of them share bathrooms in the hall (I got the one with the private toilet and shower), and that right after they had bought the place, they had some young people rent all five rooms - and they had a big party and completely destroyed the place. 

They didn't rent rooms at all for a while, and then when they started renting again, (about 2 years ago, I think) they decided to rent only to people they could check out beforehand.  (Well, he didn't say it that way, exactly.  He said "only to dropins".)  He said after people had stayed with them once, then they could make reservations. 

As we were hanging up, I said "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm over 60, and I knit."   I could hear him roaring with laughter as the phone descended.

If I had known that screening patrons was his concern, I could have given the Blue Heron B&B ladies as references.  I'm sure they remember us fondly, and HE was the one who gave me their number, back when I was looking for a bed in 2002.

#190 Re: Copyrights

 Interesting point -

See:  http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ1.html

“It is illegal for anyone to violate any of the rights provided by the copyright law to the owner of copyright. These rights, however, are not unlimited in scope. Sections 107 through 121 of the 1976 Copyright Act establish limitations on these rights.”

Section § 107. Limitations on exclusive rights:   Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright.

So, cite the author, comment on it, don't try to pass it off as your own, and you're ok, I guess.  This applies also to photographs, music, designs, etc.

#189 A Commitment

When I started this journal, I had two thoughts:  1) to have a place to natter about things the cat doesn't want to hear, and 2) if I made an entry every day, I'd feel safer. 

Safer?

When Jay was blind and paralyzed, his greatest fear was that I would fall down the stairs, or get very sick, or whatever, and the two of us would lie there for days or weeks before someone found us.  So we had to get one of those "life alert" services.  After the first few days, after his fears were quieted, I moved the button out of his reach, because with his lack of short term memory, he'd have been calling for help every time I went to the kitchen to get his lunch. (For the last seven months, I had to be in constant voice contact with him, or he would get very frightened.)

Now I'm here alone.  And now I'm the one worrying about falling down the stairs, or having a stroke, or food poisoning, or whatever.  It would take at least five days of not picking up the mail for anyone to worry and come looking for me. 

Daily telephone contact with Daughter is impractical for a variety of reasons. 

One day last week I had what I think was a pinched nerve in my neck, which made me feel very lightheaded and unsteady, so I hung the cell phone around my neck all day.  (With my luck, if I fell down the stairs, I'd have fallen ON it.)

So  - I thought I could write something interesting to me (!) at some convenient time every day, Daughter could check at a time convenient to her, she would know I was ok and still making some sense, and I could be reassured that someone would know if I went missing or started "sounding weird".

Too bad I can't seem to stick to that.  Intermittent is worse than nothing at all.

New commitment - I will write here every day, if only to say "I'm here."  Daughter, you must commit to check every day.  Otherwise, I'm gonna have to call you every day.

Yeah.  That's a threat.

#188 Ricketts Glen Reminder

I just want to remind everyone - Ricketts Glen, Saturday, May 21, 2005.  For details, see entry #154 and entry #155 (Click on the entry number). 

I set an email to the Sweetvalley Cottages (their link is in entry #155) last Monday asking if I could get a reservation for Friday and Saturday nights (cabin sleeps six or so), but they haven't responded.  Maybe they don't check email during the "down season".    I plan to call them on Monday.

#187 A Mediation

I mentioned mediation in an earlier entry today.  There's lots of good stories (which I can't tell) but one in particular applies to a point I want to make. 

Mediators are not allowed to discuss, ever, anything that goes on in a session, so I'm breaking a few rules here, but it was long ago and in a galaxy far far away, and a common enough happening that I doubt that anyone could be identified, so I'm gonna tell you about one anyway.  One of my favorites.  (If any of you are the mediation police, I'll just claim I made it all up!)

These two guys used to be best friends.  Let's call them Bill and Joe.  They were neighbors across the fields out in the country, and used to drink together at the local bar.  Best buddies.  But something happened.  Something went wrong.  During their third or fourth fistfight at the bar, one that turned into a general melee, Pete, the bar owner, finally gave up on them and called the police.  Pete, friends with both, didn't really want to press charges, but insisted that something had to be done.  The judge, in his infinite wisdom, sent Bill and Joe for mediation.

They arrived individually at the conference room in the town hall, each with a police escort.  The cops warned of possible violence, but agreed to wait outside.  It was pretty scary at first.  Snarls quickly turned to shouts, and at one point they were standing nose to nose with me between them, all  4'10"  of me straining to push them apart - "Now, now gentlemen, you don't want me to get upset.  You won't like that at all....  Please, just for me, sit...."  

When I asked them what happened - "He insulted my wife!"/"He keyed my truck!"/"Well, that was 'cause he kicked my dog!"/"He deserved it 'cause he...."etc. 

We finally got back to the very beginning.  Back to when they were still friendly.  Got them to talk a little about back when it was fun.  And then, what was the very first incident when you felt the other did you wrong?   It took a few peelings of layers, and finally we got to -

Bill: "Well, he purposely dumped my beer when he walked past, and didn't say he was sorry.  He asked me if I was going to call the police now."  

Joe: "That was because he called the fire department on me, and got me fined."

Bill: "Huh? I called the fire department because those kids set your brush pile on fire. Why would I want you to get fined?"

Joe: "Because I tore up your field.  What kids?"

Bill: "What field? When?"

Joe: "You're not mad at me for tearing up your field? Then why did you report my brush fire?"

Well, after pulling some teeth, this is how the story went.

Bill had always allowed Joe to drive across his cornfield, as long as there was no crop growing, to get to the woodlot in the back. One morning, Joe started across the field and hit a soggy spot. His truck got well mired. He had to get the tractor and a chain to pull it out, and it tore big nasty gouges in the field.  Joe called Bill to tell him and apologize, but Bill wasn't home.

Later that morning, Joe decided to burn a brushpile in a field near his barn. He didn't have a burn permit, but it's just regular farm work, so he didn't think he needed one (I don't need no freakin' burn permit, mutter mutter). He got the fire well started, then went behind the barn to get more hose.

While Joe was behind the barn, two things happened. Some kids came by on bicycles, and stopped to check out the fire. And Bill came down the road on his way home. He saw a bunch of kids throwing stuff on a big brush fire in Joe's field, and poking it with sticks. He didn’t see Joe anywhere around. So he sped into his driveway, ran into the house, and called Joe’s house. He knew the phone rang in both the house and the barn, so if Joe was anywhere near the fire, he’d answer. Joe was on the other side of the barn, and by the time he got to the phone, it had stopped ringing.  (In the meantime, when the phone had begun ringing, the kids had skedaddled, so they weren't there when Joe came around the barn.)

Bill was worried.  Neither Joe nor his wife seemed to be home.  It looked to Bill like the kids had started the fire, and it was too close to Joe's barn for an untended fire.  So he called the fire department.

Joe got cited for burning brush without a burn permit.  In this area, that's a pretty hefty fine.  Joe figured Bill had reported him for spite, for the chewed up field. 

Bill got a beer in his lap that evening, and he figured Joe was darned ungrateful, after he'd tried to protect Joe's barn and all that. 

Both were mistaken, and it had gone downhill from there.

By the end of the session, they were grinning and thumping each other's backs, and making deals to repair all the damage they'd done each other.  When we called the cops back in, Bill and Joe asked to be dropped off at the bar so they could apologize to Pete, and thank him for sending them to mediation. 

<start pulpit>

The moral of the story - don't assume!  Don't decide you know what another person's motives are.  If somebody says or does something nice, you can accept it at face value.  But if they say or do something that bugs you, for Pete's Sake ASK!!!  To do otherwise, to assume you know what is in another's mind, is to do a disservice to both of you.  (Not to mention the sheer arrogance.)  

And you're not allowed to get mad until after you've asked - politely.

<end pulpit>

#186 Weekend Assignment #55: Your Tax Deduction

Johnmscalzi, at By The Way..., asks:

"The IRS, in its infinite wisdom, is allowing you to deduct one thing from your taxes that you haven't been able to deduct before -- anything you'd like. What do you deduct and why? Yes, anything. And your reason for deducting it doesn't even have to be good -- this isn't an audit, you know. I'm just curious as to what you'd pick.

Extra Credit: Do you wait until the last minute to do your taxes? Or did you have them done ages ago?"

Deduction:  Without putting too much thought into it, I think we ought to be able to deduct pet expenses, under the same rules as medical, and for the same reasons.  Pets have been proven to be good for your health.  I would allow adoption fees, spay/neuter and other vet bills, food and care.  (But not necessarily the excessive price of  some purebreds, toys, or fru-fru clothing and spa treatments.) 

Extra credit:  When I did the taxes, I always finished by mid-March, then sat on them until the last minute, so I could make changes as I learned or remembered more.  When Jay did them, he had me searching for the latest-open post office on 4/15, and then there was a frantic rush - to get the application for an extension in!  They usually got finished in like July.  He was a sweetheart, but the concept of schedules and deadlines was foreign to him.

After Jay died I used an accountant, because the estate was open for two years, and the estate taxes were complicated, and I've kept on with him because it's easy, and I worry less about screwing something up.  He files my taxes electronically in early April. 

Bonus:  I usually get a small refund, but since I pay estimated taxes, I just  roll it over into the next year.

#185 Serious Mensa Discussions?

I got a note from a reader, referring to the previous entry, where he asked,"Isn't it traditional to have merry banter during the meal, and serious, 'Mensa' conversation after dinner?"

This is the text of my emailed response to him:

I had to laugh at that.  There's no such thing.  All controversial topics are absolutely banned.  One woman tried to start a local discussion group, with a topic chosen for each month, and it died for lack of interest.  Every once in a while an earnest young new member will show up for his first function, all prepared with facts and figures on some topic he wants to discuss, and people will literally turn their backs on him.  Poor thing. 

Mensa is nothing like the way it's portrayed in the media.  The main topics of interest are food (especially pizza and chocolate), jokes, gossip, booze, fun, and games.    In fact, you would never be able to pick out the Mensans in a restaurant (except that since most Mensans are rather lacking in the social graces, they do tend to be the loudest and possibly grossest table).  Anyone could be comfortable at a Mensa function. 

I first joined in Washington, DC, a much larger group.  There were regularly 100-200 people at every party.  We had White House staffers, CIA operatives, the chief of Naval Intelligence, reporters (including guys who worked on the Watergate story).  Also janitors, mechanics, and housewives.  You couldn't tell who was who.  With a membership of more than 1000,  [...actually, it was closer to 2000]  it was impossible to know everyone, and we were surprised to discover that several of the most active "members" weren't members at all!  Didn't even "qualify".  They just showed up.  And nobody noticed!  (So much for the qualifications...!)

I understand the NYC group does have some "serious" discussion groups, but most Mensans see them as "pretentious, attended by a minority who are too  impressed with themselves".  

My opinion is that serious discussions are avoided because a significant few Mensans ARE impressed with themselves, and are convinced that they are always right, so real discussions of controversial topics are almost impossible.  Some simply don't want to listen to a difference of opinion.  Others are extremely defensive.  A discussion can easily devolve into shouting matches, anger, and acrimony. 

(Gee - this is pretty good.  I think I'll put it in the journal.) [...and here it is!]

In my last position with The Company, I had final legal review and signoff on 35 products, from 5 programming labs around the country and in Europe.  I could personally hold up the release of a product.  If I called a lab or product manager, and said "I have a problem with XYZ", a hundred people snapped to attention.  I got used to being listened to.  With that power comes responsibility.  One must listen carefully to alternate points of view, strive to fully understand them, and be willing to compromise gracefully wherever possible.  

(This does not mean that one has to give up one's own beliefs and standards.  It just means if I shut up, I might learn something, and if it is apparent to the other person that I am listening, then maybe they will listen to me, too.  A lot of Mensans are willing to listen only to jokes.)   

There often is no "right" or "wrong".  Truth is not absolute.  When I was a volunteer mediator, it was important to get that idea across to the opposing parties - that the truth often depends on where you stand to look at it.  The example I used was - if I sent you both out to look at a house, and one of you came back and told me it was blue, and the other came back and told me it was white, which is the truth?  Is it possible both are true?  Eventually they would come up with a scenario where both were correct, where the house was on a corner, blue on two sides, and white on two sides, and it depended whether you were standing on the street or the avenue  as to what you saw.  Or that one saw it at sunrise and one at twilight (in which case it's possible the house was actually yellow).  The whole house could be described only by looking at it from both sides, in full light.  This usually relaxed them to where they could actually listen to each other, and hear about the other person's white wall or blue wall, instead of screaming "That's a lie!"   It's really cool to hear "oh, wow, I didn't know you took it that way" in a mediation session.

For some dumb fool reason, you rarely hear that at Mensa.

#184

I seem to have a low-grade fever this evening.  The kind that doesn't register on a thermometer, but still makes one feel flushed and stuffed, like something's going on in there.  (It can't still be hot flashes, can it?!)  I haven't had a real cold or flu in probably a year.  Just "tummy-stuff", back stuff, and coming-down-with-something feelings that never develop into anything.  I've been very lucky. 

Dinner with Mensa last evening (Tuesday) at an Indian restaurant.  It was a good group of five, and I enjoyed it.  Lots of good conversation.  I would have liked to sit at the table and talk a little longer, but when Bill schedules it in the newsletter for "7 to 8", he seems to mean it.  As soon as all the plates are cleared and the tab split, he stands up and leaves.  Everybody else gets up too, like trained dogs.  Next time it's a good bunch, when Bill stands up, I'm going to say goodbye to him, and suggest that the rest of us stay and talk a bit longer.  See what happens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been asked why I hadn't mentioned Terry (Terri?) Schaivo at all.  Well, because I had no knowledge of her condition.  I know what the doctors were saying, and I know what her family was saying, but I couldn't say which I sided with, having no direct or impartial information. 

Well, I have now seen her brain scans.  That's pretty impartial.  Having seen a lot of such scans, and having done a lot of brain function-oriented reading for Jay, I feel I am qualified to form a personal opinion.  I still don't know how much awareness she had, but I am absolutely certain that she wasn't going to get any better.  I don't think her caretakers had that hope, either, because they had allowed the tendons in her feet and ankles to shorten.  At least with Jay, we had worked to prevent that right up to the end. 

Daughter, you have my health care proxy, but in case I wasn't clear enough, when I have no life, and no hope for one, pull the blanking plug!  I am not afraid of death.  Terry was trapped in a shell.  She is now, finally, free.

It always surprises me that those who have the strongest Christian beliefs are the most afraid of death.   I don't understand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Which reminds me - many Americans and our government seem to be very opposed to theocracies and religion-based law in other countries.  But those same people are working to turn the US into a theocracy with laws based on religion.  Are any of them going to be arrogant enough to say "That's ok, because our religion is better"?

Gnashing of teeth....................

#183 Another Sign

I was walking down the driveway last evening, taking the garbage down, and I noticed that it was harder to see into the woods.  I veered over to the side and looked carefully at the brush (wild roses and raspberries, and the white flower thingies) along the edge of the woods, and they still look dead and dry, no sign of any leaf buds.

But it is definitely harder to see through them than it was a week ago.

What's happening is that they are swelling!  The twigs are waking up and stretching.  Individually imperceptible, but in mass enough to make the screen denser.

#182 The Lift

After Jay had lost control of the left side of his body, but before he was confined to a hospital bed, he occasionally fell while getting out of our bed.  You have to understand that it wasn't just that he was paralyzed on the left - he was completely unaware, when he wasn't consciously thinking about it, that the left side of the entire world even existed.  Intellectually he was aware, but as a practical matter his brain simply crossed it out. 

So when he first attempted to get out of bed in the morning, he would forget to compensate for his "missing" left side, and he would fall.  (After a while I learned to tie a string connecting his right wrist to my waist, so if he tried to get out of bed while I was asleep, it would slow him down, remind him there's a problem, and wake me.)  Once on the floor, with the "dead" left side and no awareness that the left side existed, he couldn't get up.

He was 17" taller than I, and 100 lb. heavier, so it was difficult for me to lift him.  I figured out a way. 

I'd push and pull until I got him sitting up against the bed.  Then I'd sit on his lap and pull his right arm over my shoulder and hold it with my left hand, and grab hold of his clothing at the hip (or his robe belt that I'd tied around his hips if he wasn't wearing anything) with my right, and then I'd roll to our left, pulling him over on top of me.

So now we'd both be face down on the floor with him on top of me.  I'd wriggle around to get him balanced, then I'd get up on my hands and knees, work my feet under me, then stand up, bent over with him on my back.  (The strongest part of my body had always been my legs.)  Then I could turn slightly, and fall back or sideways onto the bed.  From there, he could get to the walker or wheelchair safely.

I thought I'd invented the lift.  I was surprised to see the characters practicing the same lift !! on Are You Being Served on PBS last night.  It's a type of fireman's lift.  Great minds and all that....

As a postscript, even though it didn't show up for another two years, I suspect it was lifting Jay that way that finally destroyed my knees.

#181 'Nother Busy Day

Apparently there's supposed to be a lot of bad flooding around here - according to the TV news, anyway.  There was a heavy snowpack on the mountains, and then we had a sudden warm snap, and several days of warm rain on top of that.  One of the local dance instructors even broadcast an email note that if it was dangerous to drive through flooded areas, students shouldn't attempt to attend classes, and if anyone needed help, she was available.  Sounded ominous. 

I had to go to the SS office again to drop off my birth certificate and proof of marriage to Jay, so when I left there, I decided to check out some flooding.

In my travels over the past few days I hadn't seen anything untoward - the Esopus and Rondout are high and rushing, but not escaping or raging, at least not here in the lowlands.  The only "flooding" I'd seen was large standing water puddles in low areas in fields.

So I headed up into the mountains.

Nada.  Nothing unusual.

The creeks and rivers are high, encroaching on the bordering trees, but not unusually high for Spring.  The snowmelt rills down the mountainsides are no more than usual. 

I went to the Ashokan and to the falls below the spillway, and it also is high, thundering over the spillway, but where it makes the turn to go under the bridge and down the creek, it's not high enough to completely fill the basin.  So, again, high, but not unusually so.

Did I miss it?  I didn't see any evidence of earlier flood (grass and debris wrapped around tree trunks, etc.). 

I don't understand.

The visit to Ashokan was worth it anyway.  The sun was dropping, and it always looks so pretty low over the water.

After that, I went to the Red Lobster and had coconut shrimp and a whole lobster (I love the claws best, so it had to be whole).  I doggied enough shrimp, veggies, and cheese/garlic biscuit for a nice lunch tomorrow. 

That reminds me - back when I was young, we mostly heard our music on the car radio, and the speakers were usually verybad.  The result being that we often didn't completely understand the words.  For many years, I thought  "there's a bathroom on the right", (a bad moon on the rise), and that we were to put "the lion in the coconut and drink it right down...", (lime in the coconut).  I wasn't the only one that wrestled with the mental picture of trying to stuff a lion into a coconut.  The general conclusion among my friends was that it was a metaphor, like if you would actually consider putting the lion in the coconut and drinking it right down, then you could handle anything! 

There were more misinterpreted songs like that, but I can't think of any at the moment.  I usually am reminded when I hear the old songs on the modern car radio, and am amused or amazed at how wrong we once were.

In most cases, though, I like the wrong words better.  Sometimes, when you make the words up yourselves, they make more sense.

#180 [P] Busy Day

Busy day today, complicated by a lack of sleep last night.  I stayed up too late again, and then when I went to bed, I was joined by one of those huge flies - the ones that buzz loudly and dive bomb your head.  About 5am I got the great idea, and I turned the light on in the foyer - and the fly left the bedroom to commune with the hall chandelier.  It could have been worse - when Baby and Ninja were alive, they both loved to chase those big flies, and all night long Jay and I would have two 45-lb dogs sproinging on and off our heads snapping at flies.  (Miss Thunderfoot finds flies beneath her notice.)

After disposing of the fly, I still couldn't get properly to sleep because I was afraid I'd oversleep.  I had a morning appointment at the Social Security office in Kingston. 

As a widow, I became eligible to collect on Jay's SS last year, at 59 1/2.   At 66, I can switch to collect on my own.  But every year that I don't collect on either, the amount I can eventually collect goes up.  I had a lot of questions as to what was the best thing to do. 

Without going into all the complications, I have decided to start collecting widow's benefits on Jay's account now.  Even though I don't need that money yet, I can do better investing it than the government apparently can.  And I won't ever switch to my own (you can collect on only one account, and you can switch in only a certain order), because Jay's will always be higher than mine.

Another thing that I didn't know about is that if Ex#2 corks off before I do, I can switch from Jay's account and collect widow's benefits on Ex#2's account - which is higher still.  And no, it doesn't matter whether either he or I remarries.  Amazing!

After the SS office, I went to a camera shop and got my picture taken for a new passport.  Here it is.  I look at bit startled.

Lunch at the Asian Buffet.

Then to the tax man to deliver my comments on the draft he'd mailed me last week, sign some forms, and to alert him to figure the SS checks into 2005's estimated taxes.

Back across the river to the bank to deposit April's retirement check, then to the post office to pick up some packages and mail some bill payments. 

There was another stop in there somewhere, but durn if I can remember where or what for.... 

At 6:45 I'll be off to Rhinebeck for a retirees' "Restoration of Benefits" meeting.  It's essentially the same meeting as was scheduled last month in Poughkeepsie, but they didn't get much of a turnout because it snowed that day.  (Also, they had scheduled it on a weekday morning, and most Company retirees that I know are working second careers.  They have to, because the benefits have eroded so badly - precisely why there is a meeting!)

I had to laugh last night.  The characters on "The Office" were complaining because their new medical plan had  "no vision, no dental, and a $1500 deductible!"  The point of the show was how bad the plan was.  Snort!  I'm now paying ten times the premiums as six years ago, with a new-this-year $3000 deductible, and vision and dental are available, but cost EXTRA!  "The Office"s plan sounded GOOD to me!

#179 Thirty-seven Questions (37? Strange number. Are some missing?)

1-WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING AT THE MOMENT?

None.  There have been periods when I've read 10 a month, but these days I have so much to do that isn't getting done, I feel guilty when I read books.  I'm not even keeping up with magazines.

2-WHAT IS PRINTED ON YOUR MOUSEPAD?

Nothing.  Plain gray.

3-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

None. (Gee - I'm sounding really boring!)  I like Super Boggle and Pinochle and Mancala, but none of them are board games.  Oh! - Go qualifies!  But that's not high on the list.

4-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

Scientific American, Harpers, The Sun - the list changes with my mood.

5-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOUND?

Bells.  All bells.  Gongs, cow bells, jingle bells, any bells, and especially carillons.  I had an alarm clock once that played changes on 10 bell tones.  I cried when it died.

6-WHAT'S THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

The guilt when something bad happened because you were careless or didn't try hard enough.

7-WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?

What time is it, what am I already late for?

8-HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU PICK UP THE PHONE?

Rarely before the fourth.  There are three telephones in the house, but the only one in a convenient spot doesn't ring, so even with that one, there's three rings of  "What's that sound?  Is that a phone?  Is it my phone or on TV?" 

10-WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?

To take care of that which has been given you to care for, and to learn the lesson you are here to learn.

11-WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE FOODS?

My mother's meat loaf; baked potatoes with lots of butter; coconut shrimp; potato and onion pirogies (sp?) made with egg roll wrappers, deep fried and salted; "Muddy Sneakers" ice cream; purple pickled eggs; parsnips and potatoes mashed together; brie on french bread (southern France type bread - not that sharp crusty stuff that hurts my mouth); milky creamed corn; Bisquick Impossible Cheesburger Pie;  the roasted veggies at the local inn; prune danish; stew meat, carrots, potatoes, and cabbage, boiled together and then baked with gravy in a pie crust and served with sweet&sour wilted lettuce on top; boiled then oven-browned potato chunks; ~sigh~ there's so much....    (Can you tell I like potatoes?)

12-DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?

No.  I think it should be illegal.

13-DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Yeah - Miss Thunderfoot.  She goes to bed before I do, curled up at the foot of Jay's side of the bed.  When I get into bed, she moves up to my waist (handy for petting), then when she thinks I'm asleep, she moves back down to the foot.

14-WOULD YOU CLASS STORMS AS COOL OR SCARY?

Neither.  They don't scare me personally, but every time there's wind or poor visibility around here, a tree falls on a line, or some idiot hits a pole, and we lose power for a few hours, and I hate that.

15-WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

Shortly after Ex#1 and I were married, he and his father went out and bought, without consulting me, a 15-year-old Renault Dauphne (sp?) with 170,000 miles on it, "so I'd have something to drive" while Ex#1 was off soldiering in Germany.  I didn't have a driver's license.  The car froze up two months after I got my license.  Whereupon I bought myself a brand-new ice blue VW Karmann Ghia.  Loved that one!  Could lay rubber in third!

16-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?

I seldom drink.  Hmmmm - probably Frangelica or Amaretto, straight, no ice, to be tasted in tiny sips swirled around in my mouth.

17-DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OFF BROCCOLI?

Yup.  Raw, it's as good as the tender tips of grass stems on a summer day.

18-IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR:

First choice - my old medium dark brown with reddish highlights.  But that probably wouldn't look good on me any more.  Second choice (and a better choice for me now) pure clear white.  That can be done, and I know I'd love it, but the process would be so harsh I wouldn't be able to keep my hair long without breaking and splitting.  Given the choice between white and short, or the current pale ash blond and long, I'll take long.  I suppose it'll get white eventually on its own.

19-IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?

I started out thinking "Well, that depends on where the other half is" and ended up with "It's half empty - and so far it's been delicious!"

20-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?

An old black and white German movie - sans subtitles - that I caught on late night TV several decades ago, titled "The Bridge". 

21-DO YOU TYPE WITH THE CORRECT FINGERS ON THE CORRECT KEYS?

Index fingers and thumbs only, but I'm fast and accurate enough to satisfy myself, so for me, they are "the correct fingers". 

22-WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?

Several large framed photographs of doorways in Provence, waiting for me to prepare the wall, "lost" shoes, Jay's favorite sneakers, balls of cat fur.

23-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?

Anything equestrian.

24-SAY AT LEAST ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:

He doesn't often send me stuff like this.

25-DO YOU PREFER HORROR MOVIES OR COMEDY FILMS?

If I have to choose, comedy, then, but only because horror is so near the bottom.  I actually prefer "life story"-type stuff over both, like period dramas, documentaries, classics.

28-WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?

Midmorning.  That's when I feel most full of energy - the day is a blank page waiting for me to fill it.  Too bad I usually sleep through it.

29-WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

People, companies, governments, who seem to have no sense of social responsibility.  "For the good of all" is lost somewhere.

30-IS THERE ANYONE YOU HAVEN'T FORGIVEN?

Unfortunately, yes.  I try, and sometimes I think I've succeeded, and then there will be some trigger, and the old resentments will pop up again.

31-WHAT TYPE OF MILK DO YOU DRINK?

I buy skim, becausethat's all Jay would drink, and he got Miss Thunderfoot hooked on it.  I don't drink it except like with a spoon in the cereal bowl or in a recipe.

32-DO YOU MAKE YOUR BED IN THE MORNING?

Sort of.  I'll "close" it to keep the cat out, but it sure ain't purty.  Besides, I subscribe to the theory that you should let it air for a day or two after sleeping in it.

33-HOW MANY TVs ARE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Four.  Bedroom, livingroom, den, kitchen.  Usually only the latter two are on.  The one in the livingroom is the big one with the best picture and sound, but I don't spend much time there.

34-WHO PUTS THE GARBAGE OUT?

I put the garbage out and take the recycleables to the center.  Nobody takes the trash out.  Therein lies a problem. 

35. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?

Peony.  They look so exuberant, smell so nice, come in such pretty colors, and are associated with happy childhood memories.

36. CANDY, JEWELRY, FLOWERS AS A PRESENT?

To give and get - jewelry!  Good stuff lasts and can be passed down.

37. FAVORITE COLOR?

For what?  Walls - pinkish beige.  To wear - pale lavender.  Scattered around - bright clear jewel colors.