#143 Freudian Slip?

"Black History 2004 Year End (or "in"?) Review" is on the TV right now.  I glanced up and saw that Omarosa is on the panel, so I stopped watching - in my opinion she's an attention-hungry liar and an idiot with a good agent.  Any show that has her on is not worth my attention.  However, occasional statements still got through. 

They were discussing politics and how certain issues have polarized the country, particularly those that some consider moral issues and others consider religious issues (their divisions - I would say personal issues VS religious issues).  One woman, a former White House correspondent said "There's not a lot of gray matter in these issues..." and I whooped with joy.

I'm sure she meant "gray area ", but she was inadvertently perceptive. 

#142 My New Year's Resolution

For many years, I kept a daily notebook.  A series of small spiral-bound notepads where I wrote down everything I did every day - where I went, who I saw, telephone conversations, commitments I made, things I did, where the pain was today.... no opinions, just the facts ma'am.  Usually one page a day.  At the bottom of the page was a list of things to do, and I crossed them off as I did them, and moved them forward as they got put off.

If I ever wondered "When was Thunder's last vet appointment?", I could find it.  "When did I water the plants last?"  "Where did I get those water filters?"  "Who built the ramp at the front door?  What's his phone number?"  It was all in there.  My days were cohesive and progressive.

My days were also productive.  I had a responsibility to the notebook.  We couldn't have day after day of "Read all day".  Couldn't move whole blocks of "To Do"s from day to day to day. 

I think these notebooks were a major factor in my getting things done. 

In the last phases of Jay's illness, I stopped keeping my own notebook.  There wasn't time to write even a page.  Instead, I kept daily notes of Jay's medications, exercises, temperature, mood, mental status, eating, eliminating, appointments, vomiting, bathing.  All the things that had to be tracked and/or reported.

After Jay was gone, I tried to start my notebooks up again, but it was sporadic, and sporadic just doesn't work.

I look over my days now, and it's clear that I have to make a commitment to them again.  It's just too easy to waste time doing nothing, day after day.

I think I'll make that my belated New Year's resolution.  Keep daily notes again.

#141 (P) Another One Bites the Dust

Well, another of my Chinese merchants just "went NARU" (in auctionese).  This is what I was buying from him:

This picture does not do it justice - I had to optimize the photo.  There are many bronze Chinese horses out there, but this one is very different from all the others.  The saddle style and knotted tail are common, but the detail in the musculature in this fellow's head, chest, and legs give him an unusually powerful, even dangerous look.  He's big - a little over a foot tall, almost 20 lb.  This view doesn't show it, but his head is turned slightly to one side.  He looks like he's about to spin, rear, toss his head and strike out. 

I have already paid for the horse, but I don't think I have to worry.  The merchant contacted me almost immediately to tell me what had happened.  Post offices in China are closed for the Spring Festival (New Year's), for more than a week, and he assures me that as soon as they open, he will ship my horse. 

This is the third Chinese merchant that I know of to be kicked off the auction site in the past week, and of course, the authorities don't say why.  I suspect it's because the Chinese merchants will sell a $100 item for like $.99, and then charge $120 shipping (when it costs perhaps $20 to ship it).  Since the auction fees are charged based on the selling price, and not the shipping, the auction site considers this "fee avoidance", for which you can be suspended. 

What's really weird is that the Persian rug merchants do exactly the same thing all the time, and when they are called on it, they claim that although it cost only $50 to ship the rug to the buyer and they charged $650 shipping for the $.99 rug, the additional $600 on the shipping is not profit - they have also charged the buyer what it cost them to ship it from the middle east to their warehouse.   Bull poopy!  But they are allowed to get away with it.

Sigh.  I don't understand.

#140 The Only Way to Go

Got this from a friend today.  I don't know where it came from originally, but you all know where it went!

Today is International Very Good Looking Damn Smart Woman's Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me, as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking Damn Smart Woman.

And remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!

Have an amazing day!

#139 Stardust

It's a droopy day outside today, but I don't much mind given the alternative.  Tuesday "they" were predicting 12 inches of snow today.  By Wednesday they had reduced it to 6 inches.  Today they say it passed us by.  I have to wonder who the turkeys are listening to - after several days of absence they're back, frantically digging up my front yard again. 

===================================

Valentine's Day is coming.  I love the little candy hearts with the sayings on them.  Before he died, Jay had decided that he would become pure energy and explore the universe.  When he died, my note to friends said that there was a new star.... 

The next Valentine's Day, four months after he left on his journey, I bought a bag of the little hearts.  I can't have a lot of sugar, so I always take no more than four or five out of the bag at a time, and a bag will usually last me about nine months. 

The most amazing thing happened.  In each and every handfull, at least one of them said "Stardust".  Every day until the bag was empty, I got a "Stardust".  I'd never seen "Stardust" before, and in the past two years' bags there hasn't been another. 

There is another journaler who has been listing the heart sayings.  So far, I haven't seen "Stardust" in his list.  I like to believe it was a special message to me.

#138 I Think Maybe I'm Cutting Class Again

All week I'd been looking forward to dance class this evening, after having missed the past three weeks for various real reasons.  Right up until it was time to get ready to go.  I'm not going.  Pick a reason from the following list - they are all equally valid (and equally invalid):

1. I'm afraid of a turkey attack.
2. I don't feel like washing my hair.
3. I don't have any clothes hemmed that I haven't already worn at least once in the past year or two.
4. I can't find my underwear.
5. Miss Thunderfoot is predicting a tornado.
6. I've decided it would be more beneficial to unclutter the treadmill.
7. I need to switch the furnace from electric to oil, and that will make me late.
8. I ate dinner already, so my stomach is sticking out.
9. My hands hurt.
10. The BBC News is on PBS at the moment, and I don't want to leave it.
11. I can't find the diningroom table.  It's in there somewhere west of the kitchen - I just can't find it.  I saw it briefly in November, but it has escaped again.  Not that this has anything to do with not going to class, it's just generally depressing.
12. I don't want to take my feet outside.  I've got umpteen pairs of winter boots and thermal lined shoes, and none of them keep my feet warm.  I've got like umpteen pairs because I keep searching.
13. I'm feeling lazy, and it's so much easier not to go anywhere I don't have to go. 
14. I haven't been out of my nightgown in three days.  See #4. 

(#7) The furnace thing is a real problem, but of course it doesn't need to be done this very minute.  Back just after Christmas,  I noticed that the gauge on the oil tank said I had only a few drops left.  I was expecting a delivery as soon as the truck could get up the drive, so I switched to electric temporarily to avoid any problems, and then forgot about it.  Getting the expected oil delivery would be the signal to switch back.

It turns out I had gotten a delivery just BEFORE Christmas.  Apparently, the gauge on the tank isn't working.  I didn't get another delivery until now - and the oil man was surprised that the tank was still full - AND I just got the electric bill.  Pardon me while I faint.  Maybe it's a good thing the Chinese man went NARU.

(#8)  For dinner, I had 4 oz. of steak and two stalks of broccoli.  Why is my tummy sticking out?

(#9) My hands do hurt.  I had forgotten about how they used to hurt, back in the '80s and early '90s, a deep bone pain through the center of my hand and in the knuckles.  The doctor said it was arthritis, and gave me superpills, but I rarely took them because I didn't want to start the APC problem again.  The way I controlled the pain was to make tight fists and stab my fingernails into the palms.  That would blunt the deep pain for a while, confused the nerves or something.  The pain eventually wandered away.

I woke up this morning with deep inprints of nails in my palms.  It's back.  My fingers feel weak.  It feels like a horse jumped on my hands.  Daughter, remember when I couldn't open jars, when my favorite kitchen utensil was the jar opener we called "the man of the house"?  That's what that was about.

I don't think it's arthritis.  I think its fibromyalgia.

(#10) There's a story on the BBC news about a young woman (I think they said 20 years old!) who just broke the record for sailing around the world alone.  On one hand I am very impressed. On the other hand, I am having trouble with their definition of "around the world".  She headed south from England to Antarctica, went in a circle around Antarctica just outside the ice, then headed back north up the Atlantic to England.   Well, if you want to get technical....

(#12)  The boot situation is so frustrating.  I have a 20+-year-old pair of white pre-thinsulate puffy boots that close up the back with velcro tabs that stick out to the sides.  They look like marshmallows on my feet.  I think I paid like $10 for them at K-Mart or somesuch.  Even when they were new, certain women would look at my feet and sneer "Nice boots."  But they were WARM!!! 

Now they are covered with gray smudges of loving wear that won't wash off.  Their soles are cracked in several places.  Even the waterproofing on their puffy sides is crazed and flaking off.  I, with my famously low standards in clothing and reputation for eccentricity, am finally ashamed to wear them in public.  When I'm feeling particularly put-upon, I sometimes wear them around the house, like bedroom slippers.

I've been trying for years to find something as good.  I've got Thinsulate and I've got real wool shearling.  I've got felt.  Nothing works.  Even if the tops are warm, the cold from cement and blacktop seeps up through the soles.  I tried a pair of those silly 3" thick soles, and they didn't stop the seeping cold.   My toes are very sad.

Pardon me while I go put my poor little love boots on............................

#137 (P) Chinese Guy Went NARU!

The Chinese guy from entry #132 suddenly went NARU yesterday evening.  In eBay-ese, this means he is "not a registered user".  So I guess it's lucky that I wasn't able to pay him.  The last time a seller went NARU on me (in the US, not China), I had already paid, I never heard from him again, and I was unable to obtain contact information for him.  I lost my money. 

I'm very unhappy about this because I really love the necklace:

It's silver, and much wider and more detailed than any other Miao chaplet I've seen.  I'm very sorry to lose it. 

In all my interactions with about 800 sellers all over the world, I have had the least trouble with sellers in China and India.  Even though when I use BidPay.com with them I have absolutely no recourse if they decide not to deliver, they have always not only delivered quickly, but if there was a mistake of any kind, they ship another item at no cost to me, and do not require return of the first item.

I went to eBay's Answer Center, where other more experienced users can answer questions, and I asked if I was still obligated to pay (my winning bid having constituted a contract), and what they would advise me to do, given that the seller has been very responsive to my questions.  I was offended when one responder accused me of letting  "your greed over rule [sic] your brain".

If anything, it's hope, faith in humanity, and good past relations with Chinese sellers that I'm weighing, not greed.