Monday, September 6, 2004

#44 The Trailer is Gone.

I sold the utility trailer last week.  I'm having an unexpected emotional reaction.  I think it's because the sale of the Ford, the Chevy, and now finally the trailer is putting a period to the end of one of the happiest times of my life.  Like it's all behind me now, and I won't ever get it back.

I bought the Ford Taurus when Jay and I were dating, and I bought it because it would be comfortable for both me at 4'10" and Jay at 6'3".  In other words, I bought it for us.   It was the first thing that said we were seriously a couple.  The Cavalier was Jay's commuting car, for when he was driving 100 miles a day to East Fishkill.  At 40+ mpg, it was very economical.  I used to love to see him coming up the driveway in it.  He was so huge, he filled almost the whole windshield, especially when he was wearing the down coat.  The trailer was purchased when Daughter went off to college and when I knew I'd be moving in with Jay, to help transporting stuff to and from Penn State, and to here from my old home.  All three vehicles were connected with good times, a good life.

Now all I have left is the wheelchair van.  Don't get me wrong - I love it.  All that open space, the 5' vertical, the electric ramp, the low floor and kneel, the built-in tiedowns - it's very handy, and I can do and transport a lot alone that I otherwise wouldn't be able to handle at all - bicycles, lawnmowers, snowthrowers, furniture, everything just zips right up the ramp.  But it was bought at a very bad time, for a very sad reason, and now I'm keeping it to help me through the alone time.

I miss the Ford, the Chevy, and the trailer.  Their being gone makes me miss Jay even more.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to share with you...  I seem to have the same trouble of having a hard time letting go of material things with sentimental value to them.  I just have to make a conscious effort to realize that the memory is always mine, it does not belong to the place or thing that I seem to have attached it to.
Another way to think about it is that if you stay in the past it closes you off to potential good things coming up in your future.  You two were lucky enough to have found each other in this life and that is so beautiful!  It seems that something else amazing is in the making for you though.
I am proud of you for making that big step of selling the trailer.
Sending you my love and friendship!  See you soon.
Love,
Jenn