#61 Moving With Custody

On "Boston Legal" last night, there was a woman who had been offered a residency at a NY hospital, but her ex-husband would not allow her to move their children out of Massachusetts.  States get excited about that.  A custodial parent is not allowed to move children away from the noncustodial parent, especially not out of the jurisdiction of the state, without the permission of the noncustodial parent and the permission of the family court.

There was an especially nasty instance locally, in the mid-nineties, when the Large Computer Company was laying off thousands of people.  A woman was told that her department was being downsized, and if she wanted to keep her job with the Company, she would have to transfer to a plant in North Carolina.  Otherwise, she would be laid off.  She was divorced, and had full custody of the children.

She wanted to accept the transfer, but her ex-husband, who also worked for the Company, would not allow her to take the children with her.  There was a big nasty family court trial where she argued that she had to go in order to continue to provide for the children, and he argued that this would adversely affect his visitation.  The court agreed with him, and ruled that she could not remove the children more than xx miles from Poughkeepsie.  (I forget how many miles, but it was something ridiculous, like 50 or so.) 

Her choices were to lose her job and keep the children here, or keep her job and give up custody of the children.  She turned the transfer down, and was laid off  (the Company used the word "layoff", but since there was no intention to rehire, it was actually "firing") - along with 8,000 other employees with pretty much the same skill set, and no other employers in the area.

Here comes the really nasty part.  Within weeks of winning the court case, the ex-husband transferred to --- are you ready? --- the plant in North Carolina.  It turns out that during the trial, he was fully aware that he had accepted the transfer, and concealed the fact.  And nobody stopped HIM from moving AWAY from the kids!? 

Now THAT's nasty.  

When ex-husband and I separated back in the early 80s, we had it put in the divorce documents that either of us was free to move, but the one who moved would then pay all transportation costs involved in visitation.  If the other subsequently moved farther, increasing the costs, then the costs would be prorated.  My lawyer was surprised when the judge accepted it.  He said it was very unusual for NY to give up control.