I've been getting ominous letters from The Company (the more I use that term, the more it sounds like the CIA, or the Mafia). November is the time to choose the medical plan for the next year. The first letter complained that the costs were going up again, and that they were dropping some HMOs from the available list. (Last year, my "contribution" to the cost of the plan tripled.) The second letter said that they weren't able to find any cost-effective HMOs in my area, so I would have to consider another format.
I think they think they are softening the blow before they send out the November packets. Yeah. Like I will be pleased to find that it's not as bad as I feared, huh? And they wonder why there's a movement to unionize.
So I guess I should hurry up and take care of any medical business within the next two months. I've got some moles I'd like checked, I'm overdue for all the standard stuff, and I need to follow up on the opthamologist visit from last winter. Sigh.
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I'm very smart when I actually think about something, but when something just drifts past in the stream of my mind, I can be really stupid. I mean really "duh...." I guess that's my main stupidity - an inability to pick the right pieces of flotsam to think about before they hang up on a snag somewhere and change the course of the stream for the worse.
Several years ago, the medical community was saying that the worst thing you can do when you have back pain is to lie in bed. They said you should stay up and moving as much as possible, and that would shorten the duration of the pain. Drift.... Snag....
So when my back would go out, I'd feel guilty about lying on the heating pad for days at a time. But I had to, because my legs simply flat-out didn't work - the nerve signals weren't getting through - or the slightest movement caused excruciating screaming spears and firestorms of pain. Then, as soon as possible, I'd try to get up and hobble around.
I was in the drugstore yesterday, shopping for a better back support. (My old one is too small since I've gained weight, so I've been using the adjustable one the hospital had given Jay after his back surgery, and it has so many straps it's a pain to put on.) Right next to the supports was all the medications and "Heet"-type creams for back pain. I was browsing through them when I suddenly realized that they were all for strained muscles!
Strained back muscles!!! That's what they were talking about when they said the best thing was to keep moving! It hadn't even occurred to me that simple strained muscles could cause pain! Sheesh! That's minor! That kind of thing wouldn't even slow me down.
What I've got is vertebrae that shift or twist out of place, disks that bulge, calcium deposits that grow too large, or break and move. I've got pressure on nerves caused by HARD stuff! That was the click I heard and felt when I bent down to feed the cat 15 days ago - something shifted.
If I take this to a doctor, they will do a lot of very painful tests, then they'll recommend surgery. Back in the '70s they wanted to fuse the bones in my neck, between the shoulder blades, and just above the tailbone. I would not have been able to bend or rotate my spine at all.
I have found that the best preventative is to keep the muscles in my back strong - strong enough to hold everything together, and strong enough to pull it all back in place when something does get out of position.
I think things are pretty much back to normal now - I can stand, walk, and sit, although doing any one of them for too long will cause problems. Most of the stabs I feel now are due to residual inflammation, I think. Yesterday I was feeling pretty good, and then after I went to bed, I was lying on my side with my knees drawn up, and I raised on one elbow and reached down past my knees to pet the cat goodnight, and screamed. So whatever is going on, it's not finished yet.
But I will never again feel guilt about lying on a heating pad for as long as I durn well want!
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