Sunday, August 7, 2005

#321 Bits and Pieces

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

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I wrote this in an email note to an acquaintance earlier today, and decided to save it:
"One of the biggest problems facing the world today is overpopulation, and if the religious types want everything to be according to their version of God's plan, well, perhaps they should recognize that homosexuality might be part of God's plan to stem overpopulation, the "natural" way.  A gentle way.  The other ways are unthinkable."

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'FlossiePumpkin", of
berts world, wrote an entry recently, LIVING IN A SENIOR COMMUNITY, wherein she mentions the lopsided ratio of women to men in the community.  She ends with, "can u relate??? widowhood is lonely, but being independent is a great thing".


I chuckled.  I wouldn't mind falling in love, but I doubt that I will ever marry again.  Unless I find one of those men like Roberta describes, who "can drive at night (lol), have big bucks to spend on diners and shows, and at least can match their shirts to their pants. cooking also helps. if he can do the laundry, mop the floors, vacumm that is a BIG plus.

Well, maybe not even then.  I'm with FlossiePumpkin.  I cherish my independence.  I don't ever want to have to cook and clean, do laundry, and all that for someone else.  I don't want someone in my house 24/7.  (Although it would be nice to have a man around occasionally to play with.)  Of course, that could change.  I'm still growing and changing.

When I lived in DC, I knew a couple that I thought had worked it out beautifully.  After they had been a "couple" for several years, they decided it was time to make a bigger commitment.  However, they had different schedules, different standards, different tastes, and a fierce desire for independence (especially her).  They bought adjoining condominiums, and knocked a hole in the wall between them.  She had her apartment, and he had his, where they could indulge their own tastes (and do their own cleaning to their own standards).  They were a guest in each other's space, but were free to wander in or out at any time.  And yes, they were married. 

I loved that!  I thought it was ideal!  I want to do that!

I mentioned it to May last night, and she said she'd want a lock on the door between.  I think she missed the point. I'd want nothing more than maybe a screen door if there were animals to control.  Or a door without a latch if there was loud music.  But the idea of a man and me having our own spaces, for which we were solely responsible, but which we still shared in a being-together way, appeals to me.   A lot.

"FlossiePumpkin" mentioned the male/female ratio.  My mother experienced that.  Several years after my father died, she fell in love with a man (who not so incidentally looked very much like my father).  They were a good couple, but the competition for his attention among the widows and divorcees was fierce.  Suave, urbane, and financially secure, he was a prize that other women were willing to lie, cheat, and disgrace themselves for.  My mother wasn't used to that kind of infighting.  It wasn't pretty.  She lost out to a woman who was able to travel all over the country, meeting him "by chance" on his business travels (and was willing to pretend to be whatever he wanted).  

I choose not to compete.  If someone doesn't come along who thinks I'm the biggest prize without my having to convince him of that, and without my having to wait on him hand and foot, well, I may be very lonely in my later  years.  

Oh, yeah, he'll also have to be willing to get his own condo.

~~Silk

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