#419 Power Lunch

Late entry - I'm still considering this Monday.

Piper, my financial advisor, had called last week, saying he had some numbers he wanted to go over with me, and suggested we do it over lunch or dinner.  So we had lunch today. 

The original plan was to walk from his office to the Inn just down the street, but instead we drove to a restaurant just across from the Rhinebeck Fairgrounds.  It used to be the Rolling Rock (where we had dinner after the wedding, Daughter.  Remember?)  It's under new management now, has a new name with "O"s and the word "Grill" in it (or something like that).  It's really nice inside, terrific food.  I had Pad Thai noodles with oriental vegetables and shrimp in a spicy coconut sesame sauce.  Yummy.

Well, Piper actually had very few "numbers".  He and the Angel had run my projected tax returns for 2005, 2006, and 2007, to figure out what my likely capital gains exposure would be under various scenarios, selling off stock over three years.  Man, this rebalancing is going to cost me!   But it has to be done, and they are working hard to minimize the pain.  Angel is a tax genius.  But going over those numbers took all of ten minutes.

The next two hours and 50 minutes was ... lunch.

We talked about divorces and real estate reassessments and relationships and communication and compromise and school taxes and depressions and recessions and loneliness and interest rates and relearning how to flirt in your 60s after 30+ years of marriage and the weather and teapots and kings.

I was shocked to find that we had been sitting at the table almost three hours.  I hope he tipped the waitstaff well.

It's really too bad that I have no interest in him as other than an advisor and possible platonic friend.  He'd make a good friend.  He's sweet and earnest, even cherubic, but there's no chemistry.  Not on my part, anyway. 

When I got home, I had to look up some details for the Angel, then I went shopping, dropped off the camera from Rakkasah at CVS (this time I got the prints and CD back in an hour), and then I spent the next four hours putting several hundred photographs into Kodak EasyShare albums.  I'm a little angry with Kodak because the program grabbed every photo it could find on my system, and put them into random "albums", but won't tell me where, and won't allow me to delete the bad shots.  It seems like all I can do is move them (or copies of them?  Gee, I hope not!) into new better-named albums.  Razzelfrats.

Roman was supposed to call me tonight.  He didn't.  I left him a message at 10:30, saying that if he got my message before 11:30, to please call.  He didn't.  I'm a little worried.  If he's ok, and his parents are ok, I may have to kill him.

~~Silk

#418 What I Found on my Walk, and While Cleaning the Bathroom

I went to the deli this afternoon to pick up some fried chicken, and it was so nice out I decided to walk.  With all the rain we'd had lately, I hadn't been out in ages.  Walking from the deli around the mile+ circle is nice because I can visit the deli restroom and get something to eat or drink at the end.

I found several interesting things along the road - four tires, two with rims; one newly dead cat; one brown leather high-top man's shoe in brand new condition, without laces; one long dead opossum; one toppled tree, 4-feet in diameter, that looked like it had just crumpled; the same rubber snake that had startled me a few weeks ago; several huge pieces of bubble wrap; and two tanker trucks rusting into the ground - one for gasoline and one for fuel oil.  The trucks didn't look drivable, but I swear they weren't there last time I walked past that spot.

                             -----------------------------------------------------

I keep telling people how bad my house is right now, and they don't believe me.  I spent more than six hours yesterday and today clearing off the counter in the master bath.  Just the counter top.  Not the drawers, cabinet, or medicine chest.  The counter was covered with bits of jewelry, some in various stages of repair, items like hair clips and bindis, henna kits, perfumes, creams, cold remedies, hair care products.  There were also various medical supplies like surgical masks and gloves, potions and tubes, syringes and pads, things I used with Jay near the end, but which now are useful for various household tasks, but which had never found a proper nook elsewhere in the house.  Heaps of stuff, all of which had to be sorted and stored or discarded. 

Discarding is hard for me, probably because I grew up deprived, but I think I've found a way.  Instead of thinking "What is this good for, what future use might I find for it?", now I think "Would I rather keep this, or have company?"  It makes it real easy to pitch stuff.

Which reminds me - remember when I sorted shoes and discarded more than half?  I also decided then to cycle through the remainder, instead of wearing the same favorites all the time.  The past week, I had been wearing a pair of slingbacks with 1 inch wedge heels.  They were comfortable and looked nice.  As I was putting them away Friday night, I noticed what looked like mud on the heels, so I took them into the bathroom to clean them.  It wasn't mud.  The fronts of the shoes were leather, but it was fake leather on the heels.  What looked like mud was where the fake leather had dried out and cracked and was now peeling off the heels.  Told you most of those shoes were old!  So there's another pair out.  Eventually I'll get down to a core shoe collection that looks good and feels good, and is not too old to hold up to wear.

At the bottom of the pile on the bathroom counter I found five good Turkoman tribal pendants.  I bought them because they are beautiful, I got a real deal on them, and they will increase in value.  Silver with fire-gilding, and studded with carnelian and lapis.  But they are huge pieces (the two largest are 9" wide and 5" deep, with an additional 4" of dangles on the bottom) and even more outrageous than is usual for me.  So I strung the five of them on cords, and I've hung them in a grouping on the bathroom wall, next to the window.  They look stunning!

~~Silk

#417 Fourth Anniversary

It may not have been apparent from the previous entry, but I was a little depressed yesterday afternoon.  Tears were ever near the surface.  I figured it was because today is the fourth anniversary of one of the hardest days of my life, and I can't help feeling like I have ... forgotten, perhaps? over the past few months.  I have begun to move on.  And here I am having a very nice birthday, and he never got to celebrate his fiftieth. 

I thought I would be very unhappy today, so I decided not to go to the Halloween party this evening.  It's a good (annual) party.  I had been looking forward to it for weeks, even bought a special dress and cape for it.  I thought that this year I would be better able to handle the memories, not that it has been any worse than a "quiet day" in previous years, but yesterday things were building up quickly.  I really expected to crash and burn today.

Also several weeks ago I had signed up for a drumming class.  I thought it would be great fun.  I originally got the date wrong for the class, had put it on the calendar for 9/29, and was surprised to find, when the materials arrived, that it was actually scheduled for today, 10/29.  I was tempted to skip it, too, I didn't see how I could possibly enjoy it, but yesterday's companion talked me into going to it anyway.

So I dragged me off to the college, turned at the wrong intersection, went in the wrong entrance, couldn't find the right building, was actually literally told I "couldn't get there from here", finally found the building but couldn't find the room (it was in the building BEHIND the named building, accessible through a breezeway) etc. etc.  Finally found the room, five minutes late, by following the sound of hand drums. 
  
Surprise!  I had fun!   I was actually able to keep up (I have two left hands, can't seem to keep track of what they're doing), and I enjoyed it.

After the class (ended at 4 pm) I went to the Everready Diner (One "r"?  Two "r"s?) for the spinach dip and tea.  I like most of their food, but they've GOT to do something about the noise!  There's a constant roar.  Something strange about the acoustics, too.  There was a woman sitting 20 feet from me speaking to her friends, and I could clearly hear everything she said.  I could clearly hear everything everyone said!  All at once!

There are no secrets at the Everready.

But the spinach dip is good.

I don't remember it being so loud there.  Back when I was taking the EMS classes, we used to meet there to study and quiz each other the evening before tests.  I think that might be impossible now.

I drove through Rhinebeck at 6 pm, and it was pretty amazing.  It seems like every flat surface in town has a line of real carved pumpkins, most with candles, the children's home has hundreds of them lined up on the stone wall, the Beekman Arms's lawn is covered with them.  It was light dusk, and the grins flickered.  The center of town was packed with people, and there was some kind of market going on in the Foster's parking lot.   They were selling already carved pumpkins there - $3 for a small one, $5 for a large.  All different, all unique.  Wow!  That's a deal!

So, I'm feeling pretty good.  A lot better than expected, but not so good that I regret missing the party.  It would have been a very long drive alone, too much time to think.

~~Silk

#416 Birthday Done

Lots of cards and enotes, a romantic dinner and evening, lots of phone messages when I got home this ... ahem ... afternoon.  Daughter says some stinky stuff is waiting for my next visit, and I got a perfect white cotton robe from a friend (the trim on it just happens to match his.  All together now --- Awwww....)  I also treated myself to a bunch of Coldwater Creek travel knits and two gorgeous Egyptian hooded thobes.  This is fun.  Maybe I'll have another birthday next month.

I picked up some cards in the mail yesterday, on the way back from the grocery store, and I opened them at the bottom of the driveway.  One of them was a bit odd - there was a painting of a deer on the front, and inside, the sender had written "All these deer are here to wish you a Happy Birthday."  ALL these deer?  Then I drove up the driveway, and a doe ran across the lawn and right in front of the van.  A second deer ran across a little further up.  When I pulled in front of the house and turned the motor off, a third deer came out of the patch of woods between my house and the neighbor's, and peered curiously at the van as she sauntered across the lawn.

I'm gonna have to call that woman and ask her how she managed to arrange that!
  
~~Silk

#415 Why I Shouldn't Miss Entries

Just a note - a week ago I missed two days of entries in the journal.  And when I got home and was able to check my phone messages, I found this:  "Mommy?  Mommy!  Mommy mommy mommy!  Mom?  Mom? Mommy mommy?  Maaaaaa- meeeee!  Mommy mommy! ..." for several minutes.  So cute.  She missed me. Worried.

I saved the phone message.

~~Silk

#414 Birthday

Today is my 61st birthday.  (My internal age, by the way, stopped at 37.)

A friend will be taking me out tonight to celebrate.  I don't know what he has planned, but he will be picking me up at about 5.  I have to go to the bank, grocery store, and do some shopping across the river before then, so this will be short.  Just wanted to get the day's entry in while I can.  I don't expect to have time later today.

I have made commitments to have the house company-ready by Thanksgiving.  Wish me three weeks of sunshine and a strong back for my birthday present.  I'm gonna need both.

~~Silk

#413 Dinner With Mensa

Dinner last night at Dickens, in Poughkeepsie.  Odd, but ever since I have someone special there to welcome me, to smile at me, I've been enjoying the Mensa dinners and the people much more.  It's very strange.  Maybe it's because with a "protector" beside me I'm more open, or maybe that people are so amused/intrigued/pleased/surprised by seeing us together (he's well liked in the group) that ... that what?  I don't know.  I just feel a lot less guardedness somehow, both coming from me and coming toward me.  It all seems so much more relaxed.   

The Hippie was there last night.  Haven't seen him in ages.  I adore him.  He's such a gentle soul, but there's so much darkness there, too.  I wonder if he still works at the dynamite factory?  I didn't ask.  I should have.  I've lost track of him lately.  I'm losing track of a lot of people.  I should fix that.

~~Silk

#412 Bon Mots 5 of 5

More bits that I saved because they tickled my mind or my funny bone.  If I didn't agree with the sentiment expressed, I at least admired the way it was expressed, and the way it made me mull the topic.  (I am amused that some of the very old political comments still apply.)

Note - all titles are in italics, regardless of whether it is for a book, story, magazine, TV show, whatever.  I don't discriminate.  If something is unattributed, either it is a common saying, or I don't remember where I found it and I apologize to the author.  If it is attributed, it is a direct quote, warts and all.

For Bon Mots 1 of 5 - click here.
For 2 of 5, click here.
For 3 of 5, click here.
For 4 of 5, click here.

                    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blaise Pascal:  Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

Love is the only game you are sure to lose by declining to play.

Harvey Korman, on his using Viagra:  It would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

Huston Smith, on faith:  We may do things we think are wrong, but we cannot believe things we think are false.

There are better ways to get to the top of a tree than by sitting on an acorn.

If we really believed in recycling, we'd sign our Christmas cards in pencil.

Help!  I'm being chased by killer snails!

When your hand is in the tiger's mouth, you have to pet the head.

Reality is merely a consensus.

Jay Kolb, during our very wet trip to England in 1995:  The reason the Brits never had a space program is that they've never seen the sky.

If two people always agree on everything, then one of them is superfluous.

Me:  Most people can work with any insanity, as long as it is consistent and predictable insanity.

The north pole is in Lapland.

Consumotherapy - buying something because it makes you feel good.

Mart Gross, biologist, onwhat behaviors get noted or discounted :  Theory determines what you see.

Dean Koontz, The Face, the hero wants to arrest a motivational speaker,  "on charges of felony cliché and practicing philosophy without an idea".

Dean Koontz, The Face, paraphrased:  When no one ever listens to you, really listens, you can begin to lose the ability to tell whether or not you are really making sense when you talk.

Salada Tea tag line:  The price is what you pay, the value is what you receive.

You can tell you've made God into your own image when He hates the same people you do.

Susan B. Anthony:  I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.

Among wild dogs, the family that preys together stays together.

Edward R. Morrow:  We must never confuse dissent with disloyalty.

I have the body of a Corvette.  A '66 Corvette.

I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy.

Thomas Edison said he'd never failed; he successfully found 14,000 ways not to make a light bulb.

Gore Vidal:  Half the American people have never read a newspaper.  Half have never voted for president.  One hopes it is the same half.

Folks who rejoice that "The system works!" are usually referring to another's parking ticket, not their own.

Jim Samuels:  The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Gillian Kendall:  Most people who believe in Hell feel sure it is not their final destination. ...  Anyone who believes in hell, I find, also believes in hateful ways of avoiding it.  Fear of hell tends to make women into victims, men into bullies, and everyone into line-toeing robots.

Carl Sagan:  If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Isaac Asimov:  The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!', but "That's funny..."

It's always been and will always be the same in the world - the horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.

Frederick Douglas:  The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they suppress.

Lev Grossman, Time, 3/15/04:  Why is the gift of intelligence so often given to people too stupid to know what to do with it?

Democracy is the worst system in the world - except for the other ones.

Money cannot buy love, but it can put you in a good bargaining position.

In the movie The Third Man, a character observes that thirty years of turmoil in Italy under the Borgias produced Michelangelo, Leonardo DaVinci, and the Renaissance, while five hundred years of peace in Switzerland produced the cuckoo clock.

Ray Wilson, in an Amazon.com reader review of Nickel and Dimed in America:  With the enormous expansion of social programs in the 1960's and 1970's, America waged war on poverty - and poverty won.

Carl Sagan:  It doesn't pay to be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

Me:  We cannot get rid of terrorism by getting rid of terrorists.  We must get rid of the conditions that create terrorists.

Michael Hachulski:  If your customs allow you to kill on the basis of religious, racial, material, political, or ideological differences, then you are living in a barbarian society, and you are a barbarian.   ...[T]hose who engage in violence even to spread seemingly well intentioned political ideologies are barbarians.

Crystal Eastman:  A good deal of tyranny goes by the name of protection.

Sharon Stone: Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

Steve Jobs:  My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading.

Jack Nicholson:  My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady):   Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Laurens van der Post:  Human beings are never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.

~~Silk

Links in this entry:
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1711
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1712
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1719
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1737

#411 Coffee Beans or Fava Beans?

A test for Hallowe'en:  http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/   Can you tell the coders from the killers?  You will be shown a series of ten photographs.  Identify each person as either the inventor of a programming language, or a serial killer.  You'll get your score at  the end.  If you get 5 or fewer correct, don't open your door to trick-or-treaters!  (I got 8 correct - I had one of each wrong.)

PS - Correction:  My new sofa is circa 1860.  Wow.  Civil War era.  Cool.

~~Silk

#410 Dragging Tail.

I got next to no sleep Wednesday or Thursday nights, and Friday wasn't enough to catch up.  Then there was the outing last night, where I got to bed about 6:30 am.  I figured I could sleep into the day today and finally make up for my dissolute recent past.

I forgot something important.

There was an auction last night.  I had gone to the preview Friday evening, and had left absentee bids on a few items.  If an absentee bid actually wins anything, the auctioneer will call Sunday morning, and then you have to go to the auction house and pay for and pick up your items by noon.

I won some stuff.  Including an absolutely gorgeous 1880 triple-back carved walnut cameo back sofa, to replace the reproduction cameo sofa in my livingroom.  Gazooks!  I had placed a low bid with no hope of actually winning it! 

And a big box of spectacular huge geodes.  (Christmas presents!)

So bright and early, at 8 am, George called with the good news.  Ack!  What do I do now?  "Will the settee fit in my van?"  "Probably not.  How 'bout we have Don deliver it."  "Ok.  Sounds good."

Get up.  Wash.  Dress, sort of.  Wait for Don to call.

Don called just before 10 am.  On the way.  Truck arrives.  Look in back.  "Where's MY sofa?"  "Um, this one isn't yours?"  "No, that's not the one I bid on.  Mine is the cameo with all the wonderful carved walnut."  "Oh.  Yeah.  We got the wrong item number.  We'll go back and get yours."

Wait for Don to return.

The new sofa was delivered to the basement (pending removal of the other sofa) just before 11 am.  By then I was wide awake, and there was no hope of resuming my beauty rest - not for a while, anyway. 

At 3 pm my eyes were blurring, so I lay down for maybe a nap.  At 3:30 pm I hear the sounds of a vehicle in the driveway.  Doorbell.  Razzelfrats!  Local elections soon.  Two hopeful candidates handing out material.  End of nap.

Sigh.

This late in the day I'd better just try to stay awake until night, or I'll be really messed up tomorrow.  You know, one of those things where you fall asleep at 5 pm and  wake at 5 am and can't figure out whether it's morning or evening or what day it is and the cat insists it's dinnertime and you take her word for it, and then BOTH of you are off schedule.

I guess I'm just having too much fun lately.

~~Silk

#409 The Bachelorette Bash (or, The Pixie's Naughty Night Out)

I went to The Pixie's bachelorette party this evening.  Just got home - at 4:05 am.  It's amazing how fast you can get from New Paltz to Kingston on the Thruway at 85-90 mph!  (Very uncharacteristic for me, I rarely speed, but there was no other traffic.)

We started with dinner.  There was the bride, the bridesmaids, and me.  And the groom, the Dark Prince.  He was defensive about his being there, but what the hey, he has to eat, too, I guess.

Then we went back to their apartment so folks could change.  The Dark Prince is an artist, and there were several of his paintings on the walls.  Many were of well-endowed semi-nudes.   I now know what his initial attraction to The Pixie was!  Woohoo!

We were going to a dance club, and having not been to anything like that in decades, I had asked Daughter what I should wear.  She said to wear outrageous jewelry (there's that phrase again - do I have a rep for outrageous jewelry?), black clothing rather than white, and to be sure to wear a black bra so it wouldn't show through in blacklight.  Well, my current favorite bras don't come in black.  Besides, they are a marvel of ingenuity and engineering, so if it did show through, people could just admire its construction.  So there.  (Disappointingly, it didn't.)

The Pixie and one of her attendants changed into Fairy costumes, complete with wings.  The Gypsy wore gypsy bellydance regalia.  Boy, did I feel stogy in my black lycra slacks and sleeveless turtleneck.  If I had known, I would have worn the coin dress I bought last weekend at Rakkasah!  It's transparent black gauze with embroidery and coins all down the front and long pointed sleeves.

So off we went, at about 11 pm,  to what advertises itself as the largest dance club in the county.  I don't know about largest, but it was certainly the loudest!   About mid-evening I stuffed bits of napkin in my ears. 

The Gypsy danced a lot.  I admire her stamina.  The Pixie taught me how to do a 3/4 shimmy. 

We seemed to have found the gay and tranny center of the county - I think they might have outnumbered the straights.  One woman really went after The Gypsy big time.  (I remember that action from drunken businessmen in Chicago in the '70s - it was exactly the same.)  The dancing Gypsy was polite until the woman got much too free with her hands.  It was so loud there that you couldn't hear anyone unless they got right up close and shouted in your ear, so there was a lot of pantomime.  I about cracked up when I saw Gypsy holding out her left hand to the woman and pointing rather violently at the ring on her third finger.  The woman then moved on to The Pixie.  Who was quickly defended by a closing circle of attendants.  Like a herd of musk oxen defending the calves.

I had thought I wouldn't be able to stay long because of the noise and activity (I don't like crowds), but watching the people and the interactions was so much fun, I (and the napkins waving from my ears) helped the girls to close the place down.  The Gypsy was concerned about my driving home (the Dark Prince came at a call to take everyone else home) because she noticed I'd had a drink in my hand all evening.  What she didn't know is that it was the same drink all evening.  I just kept adding water to it.

I had wanted to go around and tell people it was The Pixie's bachelorette party, and have them all kiss her on the cheek and wish her happiness, but you can't tell the sane people from the weirdos until AFTER they've spilled their drink, or slobbered, all down your front (and The Pixie had a LOT of exposed frontage) so I didn't.

Now I wish I had.

Ah well.  An experience.  I do hope The Pixie enjoyed it.
 
~~Silk

#408 My Goodness, I'm SO busy!

Another quick entry.  The Wednesday dinner extended into late Friday afternoon, in bits and pieces.  It was nice to spend so much time together.  Fears have been allayed, and although there have been no commitments in the usual sense, an understanding of sorts has been reached.  I am content.  So, Daughter, you can relax. 

I have to run now to get dressed for a friend's bachelorette party.

~~Silk

#407 Quick Update

I have to leave here in two hours to meet a friend near Poughkeepsie, so this is a quick entry, "I'm alive".  Daughter, if you are reading this before 9 pm, I intend to call you about 9 this evening - within a half hour or so either way, anyway.

No rain so far today - hope it stays that way! 

~~Silk

#406 Bon Mots 4 of 5

More bits that I saved because they tickled my mind or my funny bone.  If I didn't agree with the sentiment expressed, I at least admired the way it was expressed, and the way it made me mull the topic.  (I am amused that some of the very old political comments still apply.)

Note - all titles are in italics, regardless of whether it is for a book, story, magazine, TV show, whatever.  I don't discriminate.  If something is unattributed, either it is a common saying, or I don't remember where I found it and I apologize to the author.  If it is attributed, it is a direct quote, warts and all.

For Bon Mots 1 of 5 - click here.
For 2 of 5, click here.
For 3 of 5, click here.

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It's impossible to learn what you think you already know.

Howard A. Brown, letter to US News & World Reports, 12/27/99, paraphrased:  It's easier to make a smart gun than a smart person.

Why aren't southern schools teaching the difference between "when" and "whenever"?  "Ever" and "every"?  How do they understand each other?

Washington DC is the city of southern efficiency and northern hospitality.

Me:  Nerds make the best lovers.  They are intelligent, honest, faithful, and best of all, grateful.

Abigail VanBuren:  A church is not a museum for saints - it's a hospital for sinners.

Fenton Johnson, 1996:  The mystery of love and life and death is really grander and more glorious than human beings can grasp, much less legislate.

Stephen Jay Gould:  Competent leaders have always understood the crucial difference between public proclamations and private bargains.

Jewish Proverb:  A ditch can't be filled with dirt from its sides.

Jewish Proverb:  A guest for a while sees a mile.

Cats:  With cats, one rule is true.  Don't speak until you're spoken to.

Scott Turow, Burden of Proof, Sandy's daughters describe his love life as:  a tom-tom network of females wailing over his shortcomings late into the night.

Me:  It's not enough to come up with a good idea; you have to come up with the good idea at the right time.  Many people with a good idea present it too soon, before anyone is ready to accept it, and then drop the idea when they meet resistance.  When the world is ready, someone else puts forth the same idea and gets all the credit.  (Worse, nobody will remember that you had it first.)

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

Harold Nickel, Mensa Bulletin, May 2000:  People do not do things for logical reasons, people find logical reasons to do things they want, and the more intelligent the people, the better the reasons they come up with.

L. P. Hartley:  The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.

Derrick Jensen, The Sun, July 2000:  A friend of mine says that science is an even better means of control than Christianity, because if you don't believe in Christianity, you're simply doomed to burn in a hell you don't think exists, whereas if you don't believe in science, you're presumed to be stupid.

Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.

If you want to be seen, stand up.  If you want to be heard, speak up.  If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.  [I have no attribution for this, but the application is so broad, it must be Chinese.]

Jean-Pierre Deriaud, on French laws:  It is forbidden, but possible.

Javier Pascual Salcedo:  Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.

Denis Johnson, "The Small Boy's Unit", Harper's, Oct. 2000, on the meaning of "everything is arranged" in Africa:  Everything is arranged doesn't mean you should expect to get anywhere or accomplish anything.  In fact for sanity's sake these two ideas have to be banished.  Everything is arranged means that all is complete, the great plan of the universe is unfolding before our eyes.  So eat, drink, sleep.  Everything is arranged.

When the elephants dance, the mice get trampled.

Ghandi:  You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

A man's perception is his reality.

One of the saddest things to happen was the optioning of morality by religion.

Wang Yang Ming:  To know and not to do is not to know.

We can never predict the outcome of our actions, which is why every action must be acceptable in itself, and not as part of a stratagem.

It is better to be wanted by the police than not wanted at all.

Alan Greenspan, to Congress:  I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Peter Ho Davies:  Stories are simple sequences of events, plots are about causes, motivation ..., what stories mean.  ...life is all stories, and fiction is all plots.....

Flip Wilson, as Geraldine:  You don't have to be a thing of beauty to be a joy forever.

A Chorus Line:  I thought about committing suicide, but in Buffalo, suicide is redundant.

Barbara Kingsolver's character Adah in The Poisonwood Bible points out that God created vermin and microbes as well as humans, and "He's not necessarily rooting for just the humans."

~~Silk
Links in this entry:
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1711
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1712
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1719

#405 Photos and an Invitation or Two

I dropped off five disposable cameras at the CVS this afternoon, containing photos from New Orleans (pre-Katrina), Hawaii, Daughter's party this past weekend, and Rakkasah.  Naturally, after I got home from CVS, I found the sixth camera. 

The clerk asked me if I wanted "1-hour" or "overnight" processing.  I asked for overnight, since I didn't intend to return before tomorrow, and she told me they'd be ready Friday afternoon.  Today is Tuesday.  That's three days.  So I asked for one hour, but I wouldn't be able to pick them up until tomorrow.  She said that's ok, because they wouldn't be ready until tomorrow about 4 pm.  That's 26 hours.  Duh?  That's not how I define "1-hour" and "overnight"!

I was also surprised that the 26-hour "1-hour" processing is cheaper than the three-day "overnight".

The Pixie and the DarkPrince are getting married November 19.  The Gypsy is in the wedding party.  I received an email invitation - the paper invitation is in the mail.  That's going to be a fun wedding.  I'm happy for them.  She said that she had to wait to find out how many family were or were not coming before she could invite the people she really wanted there, so that's why it's so late.  I don't mind.

Piper called today.  He's got some more numbers to go over with me, and wants to do it over lunch or preferably dinner.  In a fit of pique (at someone else, not him) I said ok.  He'll call next Monday or Tuesday to set the time and place.  This could get interesting.

Now I'm off to throw some more junk out the back door.
 
~~Silk

#404 Google Name Game

Do a Google search on "[insert your first name] is".  It must be in quotes.   I did my first name and got:

Silk is loving, caring and loves children dearly
Silk is very proud
Silk is very well qualified
Silk is committed to the core values
Silk is not only a Firefighter, but a very knowledgeable medic
Silk is well qualified, as a Certified Hypnotist
Silk is on the Board of Advisors of Fitness and Vitality magazines
Silk is recognized as a leading authority on fitness-related information
Silk: Is it?
Silk is the erotic and lethal female 
Silk is a real "teacher's" teacher
Silk is immoral and treacherous
Silk is, like all femme fatales, beautiful and alluring
Silk is sympathetic and appreciative
Silk is often aware of people's secret motives
Silk is like a sponge waiting for water everywhere she looks
Silk is now adventuring into more high-end materials
Silk is so seductively alluring that men would risk anything
Silk is the success coach
Silk is an entrepreneur at heart
Silk is a great source of knowledge
Silk is ready to crawl under the table and hide
Silk is killed at the end of the movie

It would appear that others with my given name tend to be accomplished, dependable, alluring, and seductive.  And dead.

So then of course I had to do Daughter.  I got:

Daughter is up on crutches now
Daughter is currently editing fifty short stories
Daughter is the one with the muscles
Daughter is located only a few minutes from all
Daughter is very prevalent
Daughter is a delightful historical romance
Daughter is ... 18
Daughter is "turning Japanese"
Daughter is a gifted vocalist
Daughter is learning to communicate her feelings and direct her anger and/or jealousy
Daughter is in a bind
Daughter is a role model
Daughter is more fragile than others
Daughter is annoying and not a help
Daughter is my wife
Daughter is skilled in various vibrational healing methods
Daughter is well known for her tireless work
Daughter is organizing a charity
Daughter is a short hairless undershrub
The fat chick is stupid; Daughter is not.
Daughter is an experienced trades woman
Daughter is now dating
Daughter is an avid adventure traveller
Daughter is said to be stained with the blood of clan wars
Daughter is thought to bring rain
Daughter is settled into the hole
Daughter is awesome!
Daughter is wholly unique
Daughter is mostly at a plateau now

People with Daughter's name apparently tend to be strong, active, passionate, and multifacited.

Ok, now I can't resist checking out the latest candidate for my affections:

He is the protagonist
He is a layer
He is a fun loving, easy going guy, with a love for climbing in the pine trees with his squirrel friends
He is losing it
He is responsible
He is at least 104
He is dazzled by one amazing sight after another
He is who he says he is
He is busy preparing for winter
He is one of those movies where nobody is sure who is on their side
He is okay
He is very interested and fascinated
He is talking
He is a big fan of dance music
He is invited to play brass tuba
He is a true genius
He is brilliant
He is currently writing songs
He is ultimately so desperate
He is my darling
He is their darling
He is noncommittal
He is up to his old two-timing tricks again

Hmmm.  People with this name are mostly interesting, fascinating, fun, and ultimately not trustworthy.   Sounds about right....

Cool.

~~Silk

 

#403 Weekend - D-B'day & Rakkasah

Just a quick entry to let Daughter and everyone else know I survived the weekend, and made it home.

THE SUN CAME OUT!!!  It was a nice day Saturday for Daughter's surprise birthday party, and dry but windy for Sunday at Rakkasah.  My spirits were higher than they've been in weeks (maybe even months), and I enjoyed the events, the people, and myself thoroughly.

More later - maybe.  Right now, me so very tired little girl.  Good night.
~~Silk

#402 Nice Male Mail

I meant to mention in the previous entry another reason for my good mood.  When I was in Hawaii, although there were no shipmates from anywhere near my class on the trip, there was a representative from the college alumni association who was at least near my age. 

The guy who was supposed to go on the trip from my school had to cancel at the last minute because his wife was ill, so he had given the trip to a recently divorced professor who had just retired.  Let's call him Ted. 

Ted and I were about the only people on the trip who were alone, so we often sat together on the tour buses.  I was determined to enjoy myself, but Ted was just so very sad, morose.  Like he had left the job he loved to be with his family but his family had left him, and there was nothing left to live for.  I felt sorry for him.   

He took a lot of photographs, for the alumni newsletter, he said.  He refused, however, to be photographed.  I also refused - I don't look good in still pictures - never have.  He pushed, so I made a deal with him.  We'd have our picture taken together, "I will if you will".  He declared that the picture would definitely be in the newsletter.

So, I've been watching.  No communications from the college so far have even mentioned the alumni trip, let alone included any pictures.  I'm not sure what newsletter he was talking about.

Today in the mail I found a large envelope from him, containing a copy of  the photo.  We are standing near the visitor's center at Haleakala.  He has his arm around me and I'm leaning into him, and wonder of all wonders, he is smiling.  The only smile I'd ever seen on him.

Isn't that sweet? 

~~Silk

#401 Feelin' Better

I got the windshield wiper fixed.  Turns out it was pretty simple. 

It's still raining (seven days straight now, and the three day forecast is still showing rain), so I set out for the Chrysler dealership with the right wiper raised and waving in the air, like a conductor's baton.  Naturally, it slammed back down the first time I got some speed on, but luckily it didn't scratch.

The service guy just tightened the ... nut?  bolt?  whatever ... at the base of the wipers, where they attached to the body, and that fixed it.  He also replaced the broken wiper, so I'm all set.  Tightening the dohickeys also fixed the other problem I had, which was that the intermittent setting was, uh, intermittent.  Now that works just fine, too.

Went to the bank and got the cash I'll need for the weekend (raided the money market account), and to the deli for a BLT for lunch.  They make a really good BLT, like they've got to get rid of a load of bacon and mayo before the revenuers catch them.

Lots of stuff to do yet.  I have to do some laundry and maybe some hemming if I want to wear anything decent this weekend, and I want to clear out some more from the basement to make room for all the good stuff I packed up from upstairs - don't want to lose the momentum I'd gained earlier in the week.  And I have accepted a dinner invitation, which I hope won't take up too much of the evening, but I expect to be working late in the basement.  Suddenly I have all kinds of energy!

I want to whip the house into shape for company.  I'm ready for company, finally.  The house isn't. 

~~Silk

#400 Wednesday

I didn't sleep at all last night.  I went to bed at about midnight, and worked on some crosswords and some logic puzzles, and then tried to go to sleep, but my mind was spinning.  Read a book.  More crosswords.  Tried sleep again.  No good.  I finally fell asleep at 9 am, and was awakened by a phone call at 1 pm.

I hate rain.  It has been raining since last Friday, and the forecast for the next three days says more rain.  Rain makes me sad.  When it rains is when I need most to be held. 

The windshield wiper on the van broke again, and I can't use the wipers until I get it fixed or I'll scratch up the windshield, and so I can't go anywhere to get it fixed until it stops raining.  Unless I drive with the broken one sticking up in the air and hope it doesn't flop back down.  If it's still raining tomorrow, I'll have to do that, because I have to drive to New Jersey on Friday, and there are things I have to do before I leave.

Sigh.

Sometimes I just want to cry.  Last night when I couldn't sleep I twice tried crying, thinking maybe if I got all my frustrations out I could sleep, but it didn't do any good.  I couldn't even get a good cry going.  There's too much anger in there to cry.  I really want to go out there and kick some ass. 

Ok, for some reason that worked.  Now I'm crying. 

~~Silk

#399 Tuesday

Just in case anyone wondered, the letter in the previous entry was NOT written by my friend the pastor.  I'm sorry if anyone got that impression.  It's just one of those emails that shows up from nowhere and gets passed around.  Distribution list fodder.  I've seen it before, I'm sure I'll see it again.  What was different this time is that my friend asked me for my opinion.  On a rainy day.  Poor him.   All three texts are actual emails passed between him and me, except that, of course, I removed all identifying information.

Got nothing done today, spent most of the day on the phone, seems like, four pleasant conversations with friends and family.  And now to bed.

~~Silk

#398 Comeback

I might make a few enemies with this entry, but here goes anyway.

I received the following email from an old friend, a Methodist minister, who asked me what I thought of the comeback.  He wanted "a different perspective".

Subject: Love this comeback...

One lady tells this story...

One of my sons serves in the military. He is still stateside, here in California. He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him and his troops, everywhere he goes, telling me how people shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve, and fight, for not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also.

But he also told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that ahead of several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha. He said when she got to the cashier she loudly remarked about the U.S. flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said proudly," Yes, I always wear it and probably always will."

The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi. A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman: "Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn’t need to be there today. But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."

Everyone within hearing distance cheered!

IF YOU AGREE ...
Pass this on to all your proud American friends.
I just did

He should have known better than to ask me.  This was my response to him:

Oooo.  You just hit a hornet's nest.  I have mixed feelings about this (especially after having read Reading Lolita in Tehran, by Azar Nafisi ).
 
Let me put it this way:  I own a house and land, much of which is woods.  There are several large old locust and wild cherry trees at the edge of the surrounding woods that lean out toward and over my house.  Occasionally a tree falls.  So far none have hit my house, but I worry that someday one might.  But in general, my yard looks nice and works for me.  I just need to be careful.  I'm willing to take my chances.
 
One morning I wake to find a horde of strangers in my yard, cutting down the trees surrounding the house.  They tell me they are here to help me.  They stomp all over my flower beds.  They cut down even the small decorative apple trees.  They chopped up my beloved mulberry and pear trees.  They leave most branches and trunks where they fall.  At first I think, ok, they are helping to save my house, thank you, go away now. 
 
But, all those trees they had cut down were acting as windbreaks for the trees behind them.  The decaying roots of the dead stumps are loosening the soil as they decompose.  Termites have moved in and are beginning to eye my house.  The next rank of trees begin to lean and fall.  My house gets hit by trees that had not been a threat before.  They have taken out my telephone line and blocked my driveway.   
 
The horde of lumberjacks descends again.  They cut more trees.  I am losing my woods.  They are proud of the way they are helping me.  They tell me I should be grateful for the sacrifice of those lumberjacks on whom trees have fallen.
 
You want me to be grateful to them? 
 
Hey, they were my trees!  It was my danger, to accept or reject as I saw fit.  I never asked for their "help".  I never asked any of them to "sacrifice" for my house.  It might have been different if I had tried to get rid of the leaning trees myself, and they arrived to help me in my struggle, but that's not how it went!  I had no say.  The leaning trees troubled me, but they were my leaning trees!  It was my decision whether to live with the situation or not.
 
I have every right to blame them for the mess in my yard!
 
I have every right to ask them when they are going to stop cutting down my trees and let me decide what to do next with my own yard. 
 
And don't you dare use those lumberjacks who died under falling trees to try to make me feel guilty!  How arrogant is that!?  How condescending?

So go back now and reread the original note.  The woman in the burka (and I suspect it was a hijab and jilbab, without an actual burqa) perhaps did not express her sentiments well (and I also suspect this story is apocryphal anyway), but I find the lack of sensitivity on the part of the Americans just plain embarrassing.

Blame it on the rain.

~~Silk

Update 5:57 pm, return email from my friend:

VERY GOOD analogy!  

I find BOTH perspectives have their value ... and laid side by side, they provide the real challenge of this Current Ignorance (stolen from W.Churchill).  

Why can't brothers and sisters live peacably together? This issue goes clear back to Cain & Able.  

THANKS for your profound response.  

I got me some neat friends, eh?  I had been a little afraid he might be offended. 

~~Silk

#397 Bon Mots - 3 of 5

More bits that I saved because they tickled my mind or my funny bone.  If I didn't agree with the sentiment expressed, I at least admired the way it was expressed, and the way it made me mull the topic.  (I am amused that some of the very old political comments still apply.)

Note - all titles are in italics, regardless of whether it is for a book, story, magazine, TV show, whatever.  I don't discriminate.  If something is unattributed, either it is a common saying, or I don't remember where I found it and I apologize to the author.  If it is attributed, it is a direct quote, warts and all.

For Bon Mots 1 of 5 - click here.
For 2 of 5, click here.

                    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane Smiley, Moo:  The essence of charity ... [is] not deciding what others needed and giving it to them, but giving them what they wanted.

Jane Smiley, Moo:  Most men ... were competent in groups that mimicked the playground, incompetent in groups that mimicked the family; that was why all-male committees ran the most smoothly.

The Executive Speechwriter Newsletter :  If e-mail had been around before the telephone was invented, people would have said, "Hey, forget e-mail!  With this new telephone invention, I can actually talk to people!"

Rhett Butler:  I apologize for all my shortcomings.

Garrison Keillor says he speaks Danish well enough to get into trouble, but not well enough to get out of it.

Archilochus:  The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.

Salada Tea tag line:  Alimony: Bounty on the mutiny.

Salada Tea tag line:  A man who goes to the bottom of things usually winds up on top.

Julia Child:  Anything that says "healthy" I stay away from.  Giving up butter, for instance, means that in about two years you will be covered in dandruff.

A totalitarian government tolerates free speech only as long as it does not offend those in power.  A free society tolerates speech even when it offends.

Interviewee I-missed-the-name, Kingston Freeman:  If prayer is out of the public schools, it is simply because those in attendance have chosen not to pray.  Individual freedom to pray is still intact.  What is rightfully missing is the authority to force prayer on those who do not wish to participate.

The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.

Alas poor Kiroy, I knew him backwards.

Preserve wildlife - pickle a squirrel.

George Santayana:  Science is neither a method nor a body of knowledge.  It is a body of changing, learned opinion, aspiring to be true.  There are certain facts about nature and history; our grasp of those facts is constantly changing.

A lot of people you hire with good paper education can't actually do the work you hire them for.  They learn while doing the job or they don't learn at all.

Education does not produce intelligence; knowledge does not convey the means to use it intelligently.

Me:  To define a career goal is to define your limits.

Mario Cuomo's mother:  The two rules for success:  1) Figure out exactly what you want to do.  2) Do it.

Gaston Bachelard, scientist and philosopher:  Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.

Ad for Norwegian Cruise Line:  Most of the Earth is covered by water.  And most of the water is covered by Norwegians.

Clarence Thomas:  Kneeling is not a position of strength, and begging is not an effective tactic.

Don Bender, letter in Mensa Bulletin:  It is not statistically (or logically!) valid to examine facts, create a hypothesis that fits those facts, and then cite those same facts as proof that the hypothesis must be true.

Intelligence does not automatically convey knowledge.

Albert Einstein:  A problem cannot be solved at the same level at which it was created.

Men must be careful to never mistake human justice for divine justice.

Fundamentalists, whether Muslim, Christian, or Jew, hate to love and love to hate.

An absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Ignorance is not knowing something you should.  Nescience [ne-she-ence] is not knowing something you should not be expected to know.  [Adjective - nescient]  If someone calls you ignorant, correct them.  You are nescient.  Now who's ignorant?

Definition:  Apophasis - mentioning something you won't mention, such as "I won't even mention his arrogance!"

A good thought provoking question:  What painting would you like to step into for a visit?

The author of The Starr Evidence, a compilation of Clinton/Lewensky(?) testimony, is Wall Street Journal reporter Phil Kuntz.  I can't believe that name is real!  Especially in this context.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:  There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say --- unless you insist on saying it.

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

Bumper sticker:  I love my country, but I fear my government.

Paraphrased from Elaine May and Mike Nichols (actress and director):  What bothers me about God is that he hates arrogance so much, but doesn't seem to mind cruelty.

Henry James, A Most Extraordinary Case:  Next to great joy, no state of mind is so frolicsome as great distress.

Albert Speer, Spandau Diaries:  The deepest despair is full of secret satisfactions.

Death is an alternate existence.

He who controls the agenda controls the outcome.

However you choose to keep score in the game of life (possessions, sexual conquests, etc.) it will impress only others who keep score the same way.

Cathy Guisewite, Cathy, mother to daughter:  Of course I know how to push your buttons.  After all, I sewed them on!

Me:  The greatest ideas always sound trivial, even obvious, once expounded.  A week later, no one will remember who said it.  Two weeks later, everyone will claim they had always known it.

Jeff MacNelly, Shoe:  You can fool some of the people all of the time, you can even fool all of the people some of the time, but you can always fool all of the fools all of the time.

A family is only as sick as its secrets.

Amos B. Alcott:  To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.

Howard Streicher:  To know what you don't know is the legacy of progress.

Old French Proverb:  Perfect is the enemy of good.

Glenn Close:  It always amazes me to think that every house on every street is full of so many stories, so many triumphs and tragedies, and all we see are yards and driveways.

Howard Aiken:  Don't worry about people stealing your idea.  If it's original, you'll have to ram it down their throats.


~~Silk
Links in this entry:
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1711
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1712

#396 Bits and Pieces

I just read a news article (which I promptly lost) saying that the pediatricians' academy is now recommending that after their first month, infants should be put to bed with a pacifier, that a pacifier will prevent the too-deep sleep that can lead to SIDS.

That reminded me that I had never needed a pacifier for Daughter - she had discovered her thumb and could consistently find it within her first three weeks.  I had (have!) an amazing kid!

--------------------------------------

I am upset about the earthquakes, but what's more upsetting is the relaxed news coverage, even in the newspapers.  Where are the desperate calls for donations?  Even on the internet, they are still mostly for Katrina.  I guess it's just too hard to get the good photos and films, huh?  Not as convenient as a tsunami, I suppose.  So we're not going to get as excited....  Bleck.

--------------------------------------

Rain.  We've had over a foot of rain since Friday night, and there's more coming.  I'm tired of rain.  (And to think I once almost married a man from Tacoma.)  There was so much wind the antenna on the roof got turned and the TV reception is screwed up.  The driveway is covered with slippery leaves and twigs. 

I haven't walked since Thursday.  Yeah, I could go to the mall and walk there, or I could unearth the treadmill in the bedroom.  Working on the latter.  It's buried under and behind four-foot stacks of fabric and trims and costume pieces.  Ran out of storage containers, so I have to go to the mall anyway for more.  May as well walk while I'm there.  Too depressed by the rain to go to the mall.  Vicious cycles.  Sigh.

Plus I cut my hair to shoulder length just before the rains came, so without the weight to pull it down, it's a mass of fuzz.  Ok, let's put a positive spin on it - a heap of fluff.  Doesn't sound any better....

--------------------------------------

Yesterday I filled 11 storage containers to go to the basement.  Now I have to make room in the basement.

-------------------------------------

You know how I get annoyed with people who use words without considering what they mean?  Hey, folks, it's not "Marshal (or Marshall) Law"!  It's "martial law", "martial" as in military, like in "court martial".   I'm getting tired of reading everywhere about "Marshal Law" in New Orleans.

And incidentally, "Marshal" is the law enforcement officer.  "Marshal law" is sort of what you had BEFORE the martial law was imposed.  "Marshall" is a person's given or family name.

Whoa.  Can you tell the rain has me in a bad mood?

~~Silk

#395 Advanced Global Personality Test

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Stability |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 53%
Extraversion |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 50%
Accommodation |||||||||||| 50%
Mystical |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50%
Vanity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43% 
Self absorbed |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||| 36%
Change averse |||||| 30%
Individuality |||||| 30%
Peter pan complex |||||| 30%
Physical Fitness |||||| 30%
Wealth |||||| 30%
Hypersensitivity |||||| 30% 
Artistic |||||| 23%
Adventurousness |||||| 23%
Avoidant |||||| 23%
Religious |||| 16%
Histrionic |||| 16%
Dependency || 10%
Paranoia || 10% 
 
Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

Trait Snapshot:

rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful  

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Click on the blue words to find out what they mean.  Oh, and remember that a LOW score (less than 50?) means the OPPOSITE of what it says. 

Something interesting - when I was doing the previous entry on relationships, I was wondering "what are my needs and gifts in a relationship?"  Gifts I can give are difficult to identify before the need is expressed, but my needs are fairly easy  - I immediately identified a need to feel safe and cared for, above all, followed by a need for intellectual respect and to be physically appreciated.  Everything else is gravy.  See the top three above.  Nifty, huh?  Apparently my strengths are also my needs.  No wonder I'm mostly content.

~~Silk

#394 The Next Relationship

I wrote this a very long time ago, in my "Things to Think About" log.  I've been thinking about it off and on since.  

A next relationship is always complicated by the previous one. 

If the previous was very good, the person may still be a little in love with the old flame, and expect any new person to be the same, to make them feel the same.  Unreasonable expectations.  Headed for disappointment.  Bad news. 

If it was bad, then the person may be afraid that the new person will be the same as the old.  On guard.  Suspicious.  Jealous.  Bad news.

So it seems like any subsequent relationship should be doomed from the start.   But they're not.  Some bump along just fine. 

Why?  How?

Well, now I've got a little more data than when I first posed the question. 

If you don't examine the old relationship, and figure out why it was good or bad, then it will cause problems, because you won't notice the differences between the old and the new.  And there will be differences, because people are different, and you are different with different people.  Needs and their intersections are different.

If you do examine why a past relationship was good or bad, then you can see why and where and how the new is different.

You teach people how to treat you.  If you follow the same pattern as in past relationships, one of two things will happen:
You will eventually teach the new person to treat you the same as you were treated in the past.   Or -
You will be disappointed that you are treated differently.

Either is not good.

For a long time, I was worried that I'd never be able to fully appreciate any other man after Jay, because our relationship, our marriage, was so near to perfect.  But I now realize that it is possible to have something just as good, but very different.  It doesn't have to be the same to be good.  Jay and I had particular needs and gifts that happened to intersect perfectly.  However, I have other needs and gifts, other than those particular ones.  There can be a different pattern of intersection, with just as many points, but in a different combination. 

It is possible to be just as good, but I have to recognize that it will be very different. 

So, my conclusion:  Don't start a new relationship until you understand the old one, and why it was good or bad.  

                                    ------------------------------------------------

A thought long the same lines - there's an old saying that "if he cheated with you, he will cheat on you."  A lot of friends advised me not to get too deeply involved with Jay because he had cheated on his ex with me, and I would never be able to trust him.  "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Not true.  It was obviously not true once you understood why he cheated.  Those reasons did not exist in our relationship.  It was a different relationship.  A different pattern.

~~Silk

#393 Wallace & Gromit

Saw a movie, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, last night, and enjoyed it thoroughly.  Luckily, I was with a friend who is very fast at catching puns and obscure (and some not so obscure) cultural references, which were salted through the movie.  Otherwise I'd have had to see it twice to notice them.  It works on both a child's and an adult's level (me being the child and he the adult?)   

Remember when the main feature was always preceded by a cartoon?  This one was, and a good one, starring the street-tough spy penguins from Madagascar.  I hope to see them again.  They're cool.  And again, my friend alerted me to the subtle parts, like a Midnight Cowboy moment when a penguin was crossing a street.

~~Silk

#392 Which Tarot Card is Me?

 

You are the Lovers card. The Lovers card is about union.

Each of us carries in our DNA the ability to be the opposite of what we think we are. Often our romantic attachments grow out of awe and respect as we see in another the characteristics we repress in ourselves. Society often presses us into molds of what it thinks masculinity and femininity should be. As a result, many of us associate with our gender certain positive characteristics and call others negative, when if these same qualities were held by a person of the opposite sex, our attitude towards them would be reversed. 

Getting in touch with our inner animus and anima, (Jung's terms for our inner male and female), allows us to see the whole of our personalities in a positive and constructive light.

When you draw The Lovers card in a reading, you are working with balancing these forces.  Depending on where the card is, you have either achieved balance or need to.

The Lovers could indicate a romantic or even a platonic relationship. Ask yourself if this is a positive relationship that contributes to your growth as a complete human being, or if it fills an emotional craving within you that is actually detrimental to your personal growth.

Image from: The Iranian artist Riza.
http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/view1.asp?dep=14&item=50%2E164

Which Tarot Card Are You?
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#391 Bon Mots - 2 of 5

More bits that I saved because they tickled my mind or my funny bone.  If I didn't agree with the sentiment expressed, I at least admired the way it was expressed, and the way it made me mull the topic.  (I am amused that some of the very old political comments still apply.)

Note - all titles are in italics, regardless of whether it is for a book, story, magazine, TV show, whatever.  I don't discriminate.  If something is unattributed, either it is a common saying, or I don't remember where I found it and I apologize to the author.  If it is attributed, it is a direct quote, warts and all. 

For Bon Mots 1 of 5 - click here.

                    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Les Kamm, letter in the Mensa Bulletin:  Progress ... is not the result of individual accomplishments, but the product of a vast human consciousness that contains ... a perception of purpose, potential, and need.  ...[The] contributions of any single person is not substance, but style.

Woman describing how one does not realize how final death is:  And then I found I was waiting for him to come home.  He'd been dead long enough now, it was time for him to come home.

A lot of men consider rape merely assault with a friendly weapon.

Andy Rooney:  Computers may make it easier to write, but they don't make the writing any better.

Me:  SpellCheck programs may ensure that the word is spelled correctly, but it doesn't ensure that you used the right word.

Andy Rooney:  If there is life on other planets, they probably won't believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God.

Me:  There is negative perfectionism and positive perfectionism.  Negative perfectionism is based on a fear of inadequacy.  Positive perfectionism strives for mastery.

Me:  A round woman has an extravagant body.

In Mexican Spanish slang, "Mensa" means "stupid/crazy woman".

Anais Nin:  We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

From Alex Haley's Queen:  It is the great flaw of equality ... that everyone believes that only [he] know[s] what is best for the others.

The question Diane Sawyer (interviewed on Oprah) would most like to ask the Pope:  What do you think Jesus would think of the way you dress?

My mother (circa 1974):  If the Democrats are in, you get a war.  If the Republicans are in, you get a recession.  The only choice you have in the voting booth is whether you'd prefer to starve or get shot.

Trevanian, The Eiger Sanction:  My admiration for you has found new limits.

Trevanian, Shibumi:  ... the error of the artisan who boasts of twenty years experience in his craft while in fact he has only one year of experience - twenty times.

Me:  Virginity is important only to men who fear comparison.

Me:  How "good one is in bed" has more to do with the combination than with any skill.

Letter in Mensa Bulletin:  If you take the "id" out of "intimidate", you get "intimate".

Dilbert:  There's no reason to waste a creative thinker on an implementation task.

L. Long:  Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

L. Long:  I shot an arrow into the air.  It's still going - everywhere!

The early bird deserves the worm.

Benjamin Franklin:  They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

Robert Heinlein:  Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Robert Heinlein:  A "nine-days' wonder" is taken as a matter of course on the tenth day.

Paul Levine, in Night Vision:  We are all born psychopaths, born without repressions.  Society teaches us the restraints of proper behavior and helps us develop a conscience.

Paul Levine, in Night Vision, on "image":  It may not get the job done, but it makes it possible to get the job done.

Hugh Prather, Notes to Myself:  "Next time I will...."  "From now on I will...."  -What makes me think I am wiser today than I will be tomorrow?

Hugh Prather, Notes to Myself:  Anyone who inhabits himself cannot believe in objective thinking.

Hugh Prather, Notes to Myself:  If the desire to write is not accompanied by actual writing, then the desire is not to write.

The town I'm from is so small, Charles Kuralt has been there twice.

Follow the man who seeks the truth; avoid the man who thinks he's found it.

Ted Kennedy, of his friend Barry Goldwater:  [He] had one motto.  It was "Ready!  Shoot!  Aim!"

Me:  "Freedom" is the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action.  "License" is a freedom that is used with or allows irresponsibility, or disregard for rules of personal conduct.  Too many people confuse the two.

Evans(?), in a letter to the Kingston Daily Freeman:  There is no necessary connection between the desire to lead and the ability to lead....  Leadership is more likely to be assumed by the aggressive than by the able and those who scramble to the top are more often motivated by their own inner torments than by any demand for their guidance.

African Proverb:  It matters not what you call me, but what I answer to.

South Park:  There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Definition:  Punker - Rebel without a clue, with a high school art project hairdo.

Leave the stage while the audience is still clapping.

Diane Vaughn, Uncoupling:  This experience is shared by every person who travels to a foreign country.... Difference, not distance, is the critical factor.  Returning, the traveler evaluates the familiar with a newly acquired comparative ability.  The result is often a disease [dis-ease], a sense of lack of fit, because the traveler has had an experience the others haven't.  The traveler can perhaps describe it, but as an experience it is unshareable because it has changed the traveler in ways not obvious to the others, and describing it will not similarly change the others. 

~~Silk

Link in this entry:
http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/entries/1711

#390 Bon Mots - 1 of 5

I saved all these bits because they tickled my mind or my funny bone.  If I didn't agree with the sentiment expressed, I at least admired the way it was expressed, and the way it made me mull the topic.  (I am amused that some of the very old political comments still apply.)

Note - all titles are in italics, regardless of whether it is for a book, story, magazine, TV show, whatever.  I don't discriminate.  If something is unattributed, either it is a common saying, or I don't remember where I found it and I apologize to the author.  If it is attributed, it is a direct quote, warts and all.

                              ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Pardoning the bad is injuring the good.

Life is uncertain.  Order your dessert first.

Little girls grow up to be women.  Little boys grow up to be  ... big boys.

There are a lot of people who like to be told what to think.  They are more dangerous than the people who tell them.

On abstract art:  The subject is limited, and there's no emotional connection.

George Orwell:  The past belongs to those who control the present.

Kenneth W. Sollitt:  That which one man receives without working for, another man works for without receiving.

Swedish proverb:  God gives every bird his worm, but He does not throw it into the nest.

He was born on third base and decided he hit a triple.

His idea of a good farm program is Hee Haw.

Maya Angelou:  You did then what you knew how to do.  When you knew better, you did better.

W. Somerset Maugham(?):  My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.

From Something to Talk About:  Poison - homeopathic aversion therapy.

Definition:  Retromingency - urinating backward.

Definition:  Perfluxity - the feeling that you are drowning in a sea of information.

From Babylon Five:  The future should come with a label, "Some Assembly Required".

Me:  You don't fall in love with a person.  You fall in love with the way you feel when you're with that person.

Sophocles:  Truly, to tell lies is not honorable.  But when the truth entails tremendous ruin, to speak dishonorably is pardonable.

Steve Wozniak, Newsweek 2/19/96:  I read the papers to find out who I am, so I can be it.

A girl has to have a life goal before she starts dating boys, or boys become the goal. 

Me:  Divorce is tortious, tortuous, and torturous.

Isaac Asimov:  Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Deepak Chopra, quoting a Vedic scholar:  I am that; you are that; this is that; that is all there is, and if you understand that, you understand all.

Those who think history repeats itself will be forced to relive it.

Jay Kolb:  I may be wrong, but I am never in doubt.

Jay Kolb, on surveys taken on college campuses:  College is not "real world".  In fact, you can't even see it from there.

Lewis Grizzard:  We ought to keep the rich as rich as possible, because nobody poor was ever able to afford to give anybody else a job.

Marge Simpson:  We can't afford to shop at any store that has a philosophy.

Amy Tan, The Hundred Secret Senses:  When there is great suffering, ... everyone suffers the same.  But when there is peace, no one wants to be the same.  The rich no longer share.  The less rich envy and steal. ... [E]veryone is seeking luxuries, pleasures....

Gandhi:  There is enough for everyone's need, but not enough for everyone's greed.

Jerald Bevens, in a letter to Newsweek:  We need our heroes, but soon there will be no more.  Our world will not grow men with the credentials necessary to survive [the press'] scrutiny.

PMS - the time just before a woman's menstrual period when she acts like a man.

Laverne on Empty Nest:  Those who help those who won't help themselves are stupid.

David Gerrold, The Martian Child:  It's almost always dangerous to be right too soon.

Epitaph:  This is merely a temporary setback.

Me, epitaph:  Continued next page....

Dean Koontz, Mr. Murder:  We sense that life is a dark comedy and maybe we can live with that.  However, because the whole thing is written for the entertainment of the gods, too many of the jokes go right over our heads.

Me:  Women like their men childlike, but not childish.

Chris Darden's Nanny:  You have to expect as much from yourself as you do for yourself.

Terry Bisson, The Edge of the Universe:  [Marriage is] about being together some of the time and apart some of the time.  About entering and leaving together.  About being free to follow your own tastes yet always conscious that there is a seat saved for you beside the other.

Me:  One can be spiritual without being religious.  One can be religious without being spiritual.  They are two different things, with a casual, not causal, relationship.

Frank Pittman, MD:  Infidelity isn't about whom you lie with.  It's whom you lie to.

Charles Manning, letter in the Mensa Bulletin:  Religious freedom means not only freedom to practice your religion, but also freedom from being forced to practice someone else's.
 
~~Silk

#389 Amazing Parking

I taped The Amazing Race last night and watched it this morning.  Love that show.  This season they are doing a "family" version, with groups of four family members on a team instead of the usual teams of two friends, and they seem to be staying pretty much in the US instead of roaming around the world.  World roaming and coping is the part I like best, so I thought this version would be pretty blah.

In the past two episodes, though, the teams roamed York and Lancaster, Pa., and Washington, DC, both areas with which I am very familiar.  They were up and down route 30.  I used to live on route 30!  At one point, a team drove right past the old 6-15 Club in York - my old stomping grounds - I could see the building out the car window!   (But it doesn't seem to be the 6-15 any more.)

I'll have to see Washington again.  It seems to have changed a lot.  When did the capitol building acquire a reflecting pool of its own?  And why?

And how the heck did the contestants, 9 teams, find parking spaces right next to the Lincoln memorial, AND then near the capitol building, AND then mere feet from the tidal basin?  They just zipped right in.  Sorry, I don't believe it.  In my experience, the only way to find a parking place down there is to creep round and round and round until you happen to chance on someone pulling out of a space right in front of you.  And then you're not going to hop right back into the car and search for another space somewhere else!  Not THAT day, anyway.
 
~~Silk

#388 Tuesday

 

I tried on about 40 pairs of shoes last night, and the discard pile is now about 26 pairs.  So far so good.  I'll get through the rest tonight.

First thing this morning I showered and washed my hair (which I had cut last night to just past shoulder length), and while I was naked in the kitchen drying my hair there was a knock at the door.  There's only one person who knocks, instead of using the doorbell.  I opened the door just an inch and leaned around and peeked through the crack with one eye, and said to wait a minute, I'd be right back, and I put a robe on and stepped out to talk with him.  I showed him the African screen (which is STILL in the van) and told him about the auction coming up.  He's interested in cars, and there's a Rolls and some other neat stuff this Saturday, and he often says he'd like to go to an auction with me, but, of course, he can't this weekend.  Bleck.  All these people who say they'd like to attend an auction with me, but nobody ever does.  And it's not like I ask - they volunteer the idea.

Anyway, chat chat natter natter, and just as he's about to leave, he says "By the way, do you run around the house naked every morning?" 

One of these days he's gonna get jumped.  I don't care if he IS look-but-don't-touch.  (Hey, the robe is double thick terry, and floor length.  It's not like I flashed him or anything.)  I know I amuse him, and I suspect he flirts mildly because he knows I think he's gorgeous and he enjoys my reaction. 

Then I drove into the village to get a burn permit, and decided on impulse to take my walk in the village.  It was a beautiful day.  My circle in the village is 2.2 miles, with 1.8 and 1.2 mile shortcut options, which makes some good combinations.  Piper had said that when I walk in the village I should stop by his office and he will walk with me, so I stopped to see if he was in. 

The office was unlocked and open, but there was no one there.  I waited a few minutes, then started out.  Shortly after passing the flooring store on 199, I heard someone calling me, and it was Piper, running down the sidewalk after me.  The flooring store is one of his clients, and he had seen me through the window.  Next time, we'll walk. 

He's going to Manhattan on Thursday, taking my portfolio along (sheesh!), and then having dinner with some Wall Street folks.  He has said before that he'd like to take me on one of those trips, introduce me to some helpful and influential people.  If I had shown any interest at all this afternoon....   Sigh.  You know, if I knew for sure what was going on in his head, it would make things a lot easier.

I'm supposed to get a call today (I thought perhaps this afternoon, but here it is evening already) from someone else to set a time for us to get together this week, too, and I didn't want to give away Thursday 'cause I'd really rather be with the someone else - I really hate this.  If I knew for sure what was going on in his head, too, it would make things a lot easier.

I walked only the 1.2 mile piece.  I had foolishly worn the wrong shoes to be taking an impulsive walk.  I'll just have to make it up tomorrow.

~~Silk