My mind has been going in circles for the past two weeks with something I had to think about, but as much and as often as I mulled it over - and it was a lot, I haven't gotten anything else accomplished in all that time, I start something, then drop it and wander off to something else, and drop that - I couldn't seem to come to any kind of conclusion, couldn't even get the facts and feelings organized, so Monday night I gave up trying to sleep and I did a "stream of consciousness" thing where I just wrote and wrote and wrote everything, and now I think I'm all done thinking. I've read over the writing a dozen or more times, and still have come to no acceptable conclusion. I know what is the right thing to do, I think, but I can't bring myself to do it, can't accept that as the conclusion. But at least all the thinking is on "paper" and out of my head and I don't have to chew those parts any more. Now I can start concentrating on gathering facts. Hoping to change the conclusion, I think. But at least I'm finally linear.
I think too much. How do you not think? How do you not count cards? How do you not fall in love?
I'm getting closer and closer to changing the name of this journal to "I Don't Understand".
No comments:
Post a Comment