Daughter is now formally engaged.
She ran a 5K yesterday in very good time, and Hercules was waiting for her at the finish line with a bunch of red roses. "Because she is now an official runner" he presented her with a runner's id, which contained her name and address and emergency contact information, and, at the bottom, "Will you marry me?" She said yes, whereupon he got down on one knee right out there on the street and presented her with the ring.
Perfect!
His mother and I had known that he was planning a formal proposal soon, because he had asked for advice on how to proceed. He knew that Daughter wanted a public commitment, and he seemed to take that literally. He wanted to pull together all their friends and propose in front of the crowd. His mother and I both jumped all over him. Daughter can be very contrary, a powder keg, and if he threw a spotlight on her, there was an excellent chance that instead of saying yes, she'd say "I'll think about it", or even "No", depending on her mood at that moment.
So he managed to still do it in public, but without a spotlight. I admire his creativity.
I am amused that he called her father (Ex#2) to ask permission. Daughter and Hercules have been living together for more than a year without permission, so I'm not surprised that her father acted like he didn't understand the question.
I asked Daughter if they were going to set a date. (Sorry, but "my fiance/fiancee" has been diluted by all those couples who never actually get married, even after five kids, so I don't consider an engagement real until a date has been set for the wedding.) She hedged. I suspect that neither one of them really wants to actually get married, they both have issues surrounding marriage, but they want to make a formal and public declaration of their committed couplehood. (Um, didn't that usta be called "married"?)
Ok. One step at a time. I can almost understand. I want me a man too, but I don't intend to marry again, so I "get it". Sorta.
~~Silk
Sunday, September 4, 2005
#343 The Suspense Is Ended!
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I'm an old guy. I'm 73 this month. In
my youth, therefore, marriage was a
very big deal. After all, when I was a
teenager a hot movie of the era was
Father Of The Bride, 1950 **** Dir.
Vincente Minnelli, with Spencer Tracy
and Elizabeth Taylor. In my own, greater
family there were no divorces, yet in
the strictest branch of the family there was
an infidelity so shocking the wife fled in agony
and shame not just to another country, but
to another continent, from Australia to South
America. That couple reunited, after a year,
had a total of 11 children and died happy in
their 80's. (In my opinion he continued to be
faithless, but that's another subject.)
The damage being done to marriage, the high
divorce rate, the lack of respect for marriage in
the culture will have catastrophic consequences.
Children, for examople, will become increasingly
neurotic. We are about to lose again overseas.
We are being "jeered" around the world for our
failure to repair levees in the 'Black' South.
Keeping one's word is only a strategy, not a
life-affirming duty and honor.
I failed at two marriages for which I am ashamed;
not even I believe my excuses, or explanations.
I pray that for the Country's sake marriage once
more becomes the backbone of our culture.
Barry
http://journals.aol.com/bbartle3/Vengeance/
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